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I met a guy in town 4 months ago, we talked, I gave him my number and he chased me for a month until I agreed to go on a date with him (him 46yrs, me 48yrs ,both divorced. both of us has a child from the marriage). The date went well, we went on 3 more dates each one was as nice as the last. After 2 months he told me is in love with me, and he wanted us to be exclusive, I told him I liked him but it was too soon for me to fall in love, and that I wanted us to continue dating. At 3 months he asked me for money to help pay his rent, as he was late and they threatened eviction. I refused to give him the money, he apologised and told me he was embarrassed and would not ask again. 2 weeks later he asked for money again but for another reason. I refused again, I was very disappointed and ended the relationship. He begged me to come back and told me he is in love with me and will never ask for money again. In the end i gave in, i gave him the benefit of the doubt. Now after 4  Months,  I have only seen him once this month, and every time we plan to meet up he cancels at the last moment with some excuse or another, although he still texts daily. I don't trust him anymore, I think he was trying to use me for money, and I now wonder if there is another woman on the scene. I am now trying to end the relationship again, but he refuses to listen to me, he tells me he loves me and he will not give up on us. What's your opinion, what's your advise? Thanks

Hi Red,

To mistrust someone this early on in a relationship, over money and worries that they are seeing other people, it doesn't bode well. Trust your instincts more often, it is often when we go against our instincts that we go wrong (our brains pick up everything that we see - whether we realise or not - and it helps up form opinions).

I'd say you were right to do what you did and if you went on like this for many more months you may regret time wasted. Trust is a big thing, I'd suggest investing it in someone you were more confident about.

All the best!


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I can answer questions on how to meet people, confidence, what to do for the best dates, problems within relationships, how to interact with your partner and how to end relationships amicably and politely. More specifically, I am best at answering issues pertaining to trust, honesty, openness, fear and communication within relationships. It is important to know that everyone loves differently and we must first identify how a partner (or prospective) partner loves, in order to understand them. I cannot answer questions on whether or not someone sounds like they are interested, people are all different when they like or do not like people. I cannot tell you how someone may react or how a situation will end but merely offer you my advice on the subject.


I do not have professional experience in the area but my knowledge of psychology, teamed with forever being an agony aunt when it comes to relationships means that I have answered many questions on relationships and am proud to say I have seen quite a few relationships flourish with my advice. I am used to surveying people and guiding them in my daily working life. Due to this, I can read situations very well, often putting a much needed outside perspective to good use.

BSc (Hons) Psychology

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