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General Dating Questions/Have i messed up? Or do i still have a chance? Please reply soon


Dear Azure,

Wednesday is the last day of school for me. Ever. (Thank goodness!) As i'm 18, i'll be off to university this september where i can really start practising this sort of thing.

However, I used to have (and still have) a big crush on a girl in the year below (she's 17, so she has another year of school to go -oh and the age of consent here in the UK is 16, so everything is okay).
I never shared a class with her or anything, but when i saw her in the common room i would smile at her, and do nothing because i was too scared what she and other people would think if i went up to her. I need a reason to talk to a girl, i wasn't used to just saying hi, because that usually caused them to look at me, probably thinking 'what does this crazy guy want? Go away'.

But knowing this could be the last time i see her has given me the courage of approaching her for the first time yesterday (though we did meet briefly by chance a few months ago, so we know each other's names. But this was the first time i approached her).
I didn't have the courage to flirt with her at all, simply because i didn't believe i was in with a chance. I thought she must have got creeped out me by now, so we just had a standard, boring conversation.

When i spoke to her, she seemed genuinely interested in talking to me. We talked for about 2 minutes, just talking about school.
She laughed a lot and smiled throughout the whole conversation. But i think that might be just a girl thing, because a lot of girls in my school are very 'smiley'. Especially when they're nervous.
She held eye contact with me the whole time. I was too weak to hold eye contact so long, so i kept breaking eye contact.
She was facing towards me when i spoke to her and seemed to have positive body language.
She left because she was late for her bus. Not because she was fed up with me.

So, judging on those two minutes, i think that maybe it is possible for me to get her number.

What happened today:

Well, i came back from school during lunchtime. I had a shower, brushed my teeth again, put some deodorant on and even used my sister's mud mask to make my face all glowy and healthy.
When i went back to school at the end of lunchtime however, i couldn't see her. Neither did i see her in between lesson time. I waited for her at the end of school for 5 minutes, but i thought 'oh well, she's not going to turn up. i'll give it one more go tomorrow'. And gave up for today.

Though when i went back from the car park, i went past her dad's car (i saw her getting into that car in the past) and realised she must still be in the school. I walked down the avenue that led to the car park and saw her just walk past me! I really didn't expect that at all and since i was caught off guard i needed to improvise. So i turned to her and this was the following conversation:

Me: Hey Melissa! (That's her name)
Her: Hey
Me: Are you busy now? (Though her dad's car was just 50metres away. I was too nervous to say anything else).
Her: I have to go now, sorry. See you tomorrow
Me: Do you mind if we can meet up tomorrow?
Her: Er...why?
Me: Um...
Her: i don't know
Me: Are you free tomorrow lunchtime, or after school?
Her: I think i have to meet someone then.
Me: Oh, okay. Well i see you tomorrow maybe.
Her: Bye

That conversation lasted about 20 seconds. She was still smiling the whole time, but i think the smiling was due to being a girl, or nervous, rather than being glad to talk to me.

What do i do? Tomorrow's the last time i could see her :( Thanks for reading all of this


well, her asking "why" as to meeting up wasn't exactly a positive sign; however, if you really are interested and want to know more definitely where she stands, you need to ask her for her phone number and/or ask her if she'd like to hang out sometime soon....nothing ventured, nothing gained..hello again...nothing to go into depth's need to make direct contact with her if you can, express an interest in getting to know her, ask if you can call her, or if she appears responsive, ask her on a date./.

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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