General Dating Questions/need a guys opinion

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Question
So, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and have lived together for a year. Last weekend my boyfriend told me that he was going to a bar to see his friend, Tara and that he would be home later. He said this as if it were a normal thing. All that I know of Tara is that she is his ex-girlfriend and they remained friends. Now, I'm not one of those jealous, irrational girls who believes that my boyfriend should not have a friend that is a female. But I was not comfortable with him going to a bar to see his ex when I was not invited. Despite me telling him my feelings on the matter he left anyway saying to me before he left "You can leave if you want, I hope you don't because I love you but I've let females tell me who I can be friends with in the past and I'm not making that mistake again." I almost did leave, but I love him and I was, and still am confused on whether my feelings are an over-reaction. He says that I over-reacted and that I have "nothing to worry about". I feel hurt and disrespected. I feel that going to a bar until 1am to see another woman when you are in a relationship with someone else is just...wrong. Do my feelings have merit or is he right and I am just over-reacting?
         Thank you, Laraine.

Answer
Well, until 1am seems a little odd. Particularly if he has no guy friends in the general area as well. But I think you did well to tell him that the idea of it makes you uncomfortable. You have no right to keep him from seeing someone he claims is only a friend, but it is good you told him how you felt. I wouldn't read too much into it. And maybe once things settle back down you can casually ask if the three of you could go to dinner together. Possibly she can come with a BF or a guy friend and just have a get together for the fun of it so you can know her better. That's what I think anyway.

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James

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First and foremost if you read ahead you'll find I have a word limit on questions I'll read. This site is for short simple questions and it should not be for writing essays. Please also note I am unfamilar with most cultures outside of United Stated, UK, and France. Please respect my rules. I don't like rejecting questions. I will be the first to admit that I don't know everything about dating, women/men, and interpersonal connections. However I have learned quite a bit vicariously from other people's experiences. Think of my advice as a second opinion. I would be happy to answer all questions related to relationships, dating, self-confidence, and self-image that I can. I have struggled with all of those things and probably know better than most how to deal with all of them.

I hope more than anything that my advice and opinions will help give people perspective in their lives, and hopefully make them feel better about themselves and their situations. I will attempt answering questions for anyone of any age group or nationality. However it would be particularly useful to know the age of all people involved. It does make a difference towards the advice I give. Also not terribly familar with arranged marriages and situations in which the family can dictate the details of the relationship.

My Rules:
1). I can't answer questions that ask if a girl or guy likes the other (very difficult to know remotely)
2). No questions that are More Than 250 Words. I understand that problems can be complex, but there is a real limit to how much I can read and fully understand. Particularly if English isn't the questioner's native language.
3). Only questions from Americans, Canadians, British, and cute French women.
4). No questions that ask the meaning behind if a person sets their FB status to single, coupled, or private or if they still have a dating profile undeleted somewhere. If you're cyber snooping you're likely the issue.

Experience

I don't really have any specific experience in this area other than learning from other people's mistakes and a few of my own, and whatever I've learned as a psychology major.

Education/Credentials
B.S. Psychology

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