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General Dating Questions/weeding out "loser" men


Hi! I do not have much dating experience, even though I am in my thirties. This is due to my history of extreme anxiety and very low self-esteem. However, within the past several months, with self-belief, therapy, and medication, my self-esteem and confidence has dramatically improved. I am very happy about this!! My question is: How many dates should occur or how much time should pass to figure out if a guy is interested in ONLY sex? When is it a good time to reasonably guess that he wants a relationship along with sex?  Thank you!!

one thing to observe is if he treats you as well AFTER the sex as he did's really not about time or number of dates, it's about whether he shows continued interest in you as a person, is concerned about your life, your personal growth, expresses interest in doing things that don't involve sex..

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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