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General Dating Questions/Boyfriend is always late


Hi I've been with my boyfriend nearly a year, but nearly every time we meet up he is late, and I don't mean 10-20 minutes I mean hours and hours late....

He has issues sleeping and sometimes it causes him to oversleep, so occasionally he would be very late and I would understand, but recently its every time we meet up... I a currently waiting for him as he is an hour and a half late.

I know its not just me he is late with its work, meeting friends, appointments everything! But I can't keep sitting around waiting for him all the time.

When I talk to him about it he just gets really upset and tells me he is sorry and I end up feeling guilty, like I'm the bad one. Then the next day he'll be two hours late and we'll have the same conversation again...
It is becoming exhausting.

I love him very much and want to stay with him I just want him to be on time or to let me know he is going to be late, how can I get through to him?


Hello Emily,

Thank-you for your question. What this boils down to for me is RESPECT. When a significant other is chronically late, and that goes for men and women alike, it shows a lack of respect on that personís part. A lack of respect for you and for your time. This is a huge pet peeve of mine, so I may be a bit biased here, but I can tell you that things are likely never to change. There seems to be two types of people in this world: those that are prompt and always seem to arrive on time, and those that are always late, to everything, regardless of circumstances. Perhaps itís a differing of personalities, who knows. What I do know is that it is not respectful to leave the one you love waiting for hours on end for your arrival. He may have sleeping issues, but if he truly cared to change and cared about you, knowing how important his being on-time is to you, I believe he would do something about it.

The question you have to ask yourself now is, ďCan I live with this behavior for the rest of our relationship without it negatively affecting me?Ē I presume from the contents of the email you sent me that the answer to that question is NO. Letís say the two of you got married down the road. Would you be happy if he as your husband was late to everything? In either case, you only have two choices: accept/put up with his late behavior OR walk away from the relationship. I know the latter may sound harsh, but I cannot tell you how many people I have helped who are in relationships that do not serve their best interests and are really just a lesson in futility. You may or may not be in oneÖthat is something you will have to decide for yourself.

If you do decide to stick it out with him, you will need to set him up for success. What I mean by that is learn to work with and around his shortcomings. For example, if you want him to be to your house by noon, tell him to meet you at 10AM! Iím serious! Tell him to meet you much earlier than you actually need him there in anticipation of his tardiness. Itís either this or walk away from the relationship forever. I leave the choice in your hands and hope this has helped. Take care now.  

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Mike Lamb


My expertise is in answering questions from men about dating women. I have a wealth of knowledge pertaining to nearly all facets of the dating world today. We all know that there are ways to be successful in dating, but what are they? I can answer that for you. I want to teach you how to find not just any woman who will date you, but the RIGHT woman who has long-term potential for a healthy relationship. That starts with how you act and treat women in the very beginning of the dating stages. I can teach how to get there and stay there for the duration of the relationship, on into marriage if that's where it leads. My aim is to teach you to respect yourselves as men first, to be gentlemen, and to change your life for the better. That is my passion. I want to support all good men in successful dating practices. I am not here to offer pick-up techniques or to help you get women into bed. My purpose is more noble than that. I cannot answer questions pertaining to psychology or psychological problems as these would best be addressed by a licensed mental health counselor.


For over a decade, I have dedicated myself to becoming a better man and to understanding women. This has led me to all sorts of seminars, training programs, books, etc. There is a wealth of information out there, but how much of it really is useful in real-world application? I have narrowed down the best and most-relevant information for men as it pertains to dating. This is information I have tested and learned in the real world from personal experiences and also gathered from the personal experiences of those closest to me.

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