General Dating Questions/Is he intersted in me?


I started dating a few weeks ago and I met this man online unexpectedly while I was going through apartment ads and figured I would just check out the personal ads just for fun. There was one ad that caught my attention and I knew that I was exactly what he is looking for.
We talked for a few weeks and I was so impressed with him. He says he is looking to settle down and is not interested in being a Bachelor for the rest of his life. His last relationship didn't work out and realized that he had to man up. "It was my fault and I realized it is time for me to man up!" I was so impressed with what he had to say and I don't think I ever met a man who pointed out his mistakes and owns up to it. He gets points for sure.

He is a young business man who owns and a successful large hedge fun firm in Manhattan. I am a model, designer, and educated. I like men who are successful and who are intelligent.  He says when I first saw you I said to myself, "SOLD!" I was flattered with his words but the way he communicates is bold and he knows what he wants. That is what I like. A man who knows what he wants and will go after what he wants without anything stopping in his way. He says that he is interested in no games, dating and that I wouldn't have to worry about seeing other guys because he will be in the picture. He jokes, "You will be mine."

He would text me every morning to say Good morning gorgeous! It is nice to hear.
We met last Tuesday at a local upscale grilled resturant and I was very nervous at first!! He wouldn't look at me and went looking at the menu right away. I think his hands were a little shaky? After awhile I had a few sips of my wine and I relaxed and I noticed he relaxed as well, before he was scanning the room instead of looking at me. He relaxed in the chair and we had a decent conversation. I then noticed him eyeing me up and down and staring at my me it made me feel good because it shows that he admires me. I know its sick that I liked it...most women would be turned off! :-D
I noticed that he moved around in his chair a few times as if there was something in his pants? He asked if I wanted dessert and I poliety said No. I wish I said YES! He immediately took the check and says,"Well I hope you enjoyed the company." I said,"I did and thank you for dinner."
He walks me out of the resturant and gives me a quick kiss on the check,"It was nice meeting you." He mumbles something else which I didn't quite catch.
I didn't hear from him the next morning and I panicked...I really thought he wasn't interested in me. I sent him a text letting him know that I am interested in seeing him again. Nothing. Until late in the evening he sends me a text saying that he is interested and that he had a very busy day taking care of his grandmother and helping her do errands. I thought it was so sweet of him. He sent me a text the next morning asking when he can see me and I said over the weekend. He says next weekend would be better and I agreed.
He calls me on Thursday evening about a business project and since I am a designer he wanted my opinion on some logos for his friend who is opening up a wedding venue. He asked if I could design some logos and he would pay me for the work that I will do. I thought that was really cool of him to think of me and to help me out like that. Awesome! He sent me a good morning text on Friday and sent him a few text messages about the logos.
He didn't text me on Saturday and I believe this weekend may be a busy one for him.
I am so into this man and he has all the qualities that I look for. I really like his personality more than anything else and I really respect him for the man he is.

What do you think? Is he interested in me or really into me? I don't know why men slow down their texts or calls after the first few dates or once they get intimate...they go into their comfort zone or something? Before he was always texting me and he is a very busy man! Now its once in awhile...should I be worried?

Hello Alison,

I will keep this short and to the point. He seems to be as interested in you as a person can be at this stage in the dating game. You have to remember that you don't REALLY know this man, and he doesn't REALLY know you either. That real knowing comes with time, and the two of you have had very limited time together at this point. The nerves on the first date are completely normal, for the both of you, especially if you are a beautiful woman and with being a model it certainly sounds like you are. I don't personally prefer text messaging as the best form of communication when you're first getting to know someone on an intimate level in dating for that very isn't an intimate form of communication. You can't hear HOW someone is communicating a message or the subtleties that may lie between the lines of the text messages. This can only be done through actually speaking on the phone and better yet, in person. Moreover, I find it less confident for a man to communicate through text message than I do through verbal communication. It takes more guts to actually pick up the phone and make conversation with someone than it does to type words out on a screen. You have to talk to each other in person eventually after all don't you? But I digress.

I don't think you necessarily need to be worried about him texting you less often than he did before. He was likely trying to get your attention with the overload of text messages in the beginning, and now that he has your attention, he's decided to back off a bit and give you some space. In my opinion, he was texting you a bit too often in the beginning anyway, so he likely feels the same way and is just trying to give you some breathing room.

So there you have it. I wish you the best with this man and hope that it works out wonderfully for the both of you. Take care.  

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Mike Lamb


My expertise is in answering questions from men about dating women. I have a wealth of knowledge pertaining to nearly all facets of the dating world today. We all know that there are ways to be successful in dating, but what are they? I can answer that for you. I want to teach you how to find not just any woman who will date you, but the RIGHT woman who has long-term potential for a healthy relationship. That starts with how you act and treat women in the very beginning of the dating stages. I can teach how to get there and stay there for the duration of the relationship, on into marriage if that's where it leads. My aim is to teach you to respect yourselves as men first, to be gentlemen, and to change your life for the better. That is my passion. I want to support all good men in successful dating practices. I am not here to offer pick-up techniques or to help you get women into bed. My purpose is more noble than that. I cannot answer questions pertaining to psychology or psychological problems as these would best be addressed by a licensed mental health counselor.


For over a decade, I have dedicated myself to becoming a better man and to understanding women. This has led me to all sorts of seminars, training programs, books, etc. There is a wealth of information out there, but how much of it really is useful in real-world application? I have narrowed down the best and most-relevant information for men as it pertains to dating. This is information I have tested and learned in the real world from personal experiences and also gathered from the personal experiences of those closest to me.

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