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General Dating Questions/Looks like a Relationship but is it Really?


Hello James,

I met this guy on okcupid and we agreed to hangout, get some coffee. We both agreed that we were looking for nothing serious, pretty much small fun and sex. But we hit it off a lot more than I thought we would. Our date lasted over 4 hrs and about 2 hrs in, he layed his hand out on the table to hold mine! I was by no means expecting that, he could tell, but I did hold his hand. We got a little more intimate but we didn't have sex the  first date; he made sure to let me know that I was really "cool", he liked me.But the next day we went to an art gallery, and then we did have sex.He said he'd call me in a week, he told me he'd be visiting family at the beginning of this week. I asked him a question yesterday via text and got only one response and not another to my second reply.I'm just wondering what I'm getting myself into! What does he want? He keeps initiating romantic intimacy, he'll say things like I'm just looking for an excuse to kiss you, but I feel like he won't be outright with me. I don't know how I should feel because I'm beginning to like him, but I am so confused as to whether I'm allowed to.

Thank you James!


Honestly I'm not sure what typically stems from a friends with benefits type relationship, but if you think he is not being completely honest with you than I would not assume the two of you are actually in a relationship at this point. Sex on a first date? You must be really really really ridiculously good looking. lol. I would just play it by ear. Doesn't seem like anything too long-term yet.

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First and foremost if you read ahead you'll find I have a word limit on questions I'll read. This site is for short simple questions and it should not be for writing essays. Please also note I am unfamilar with most cultures outside of United Stated, UK, and France. Please respect my rules. I don't like rejecting questions. I will be the first to admit that I don't know everything about dating, women/men, and interpersonal connections. However I have learned quite a bit vicariously from other people's experiences. Think of my advice as a second opinion. I would be happy to answer all questions related to relationships, dating, self-confidence, and self-image that I can. I have struggled with all of those things and probably know better than most how to deal with all of them.

I hope more than anything that my advice and opinions will help give people perspective in their lives, and hopefully make them feel better about themselves and their situations. I will attempt answering questions for anyone of any age group or nationality. However it would be particularly useful to know the age of all people involved. It does make a difference towards the advice I give. Also not terribly familar with arranged marriages and situations in which the family can dictate the details of the relationship.

My Rules:
1). I can't answer questions that ask if a girl or guy likes the other (very difficult to know remotely)
2). No questions that are More Than 250 Words. I understand that problems can be complex, but there is a real limit to how much I can read and fully understand. Particularly if English isn't the questioner's native language.
3). Only questions from Americans, Canadians, British, and cute French women.
4). No questions that ask the meaning behind if a person sets their FB status to single, coupled, or private or if they still have a dating profile undeleted somewhere. If you're cyber snooping you're likely the issue.


I don't really have any specific experience in this area other than learning from other people's mistakes and a few of my own, and whatever I've learned as a psychology major.

B.S. Psychology

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