General Dating Questions/Is this wrong?

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Question
My boyfriend and I have been dating since the beginning of January this year. Well, almost every time we are around his friends, it seems like they always somehow get onto the subject of other girls. He says that they are hot, beautiful, etc right in front of me. I guess that's probably not too bad...but what really bothers me is that it seems like he is really into older women, and he talks about it right in front of me. He said how he banged this one MILF. Then, he said that one time he thought about banging his friend's mom just to get back at her. Then, he said that one time he even wanted to bang someone's GRANDMA! He says these types of things right in front of me, and he is being dead serious...and it really bothers me.

See, he is a few years older than me. I thought guys were supposed to be biologically attracted to young, attractive females because they are in their childbearing years, plus they feel that they are in control.

Don't get me wrong, we have a great relationship, he treats me like a princess, and our sex is absolutely amazing, but it just hurts that he does that...and I would talk to him about it, but I have already brought it up before around the time we started dating. He got defensive about it and said that it's not like he wants to be with these girls. So that's why I feel like I can't talk to him about it...

So here are my questions: Is it wrong of him to talk like that in front of me? Should I start talking about how hot other guys are right in front of him just to show him how it feels? Should I avoid having sex with him for a while? What should I do?

Answer
Hi Sarah,

Unless he is a complete bonehead this should be fixable. To answer your questions.


Is it wrong of him to talk like that in front of me? YES! It a shitty thing to say in front of you. Completely disrespectful. He is trying to impress his friends when saying that stuff especially in front of you.

Should I start talking about how hot other guys are right in front of him just to show him how it feels? NO! Guys aren't smart enough to realize what you are trying to do and it will just lead to a fight.

Should I avoid having sex with him for a while? What should I do? No, using sex as a weapon only ends up souring the relationship in the long run.

He is what you might try doing and I know you tried something similar, but you weren't able to hammer home your point... The next time that happens, when you are alone, explain that it really bothers you and then he will tell you something to the effect if I wanted to be with them I would. I'm with you and the rest is just guy talk. Then just say you are belittling me by talking like that in front of me. Are you trying to disrespect me? He will say, No You say good then please don't do that again. If the conversation continues Just say that when you talk like that I feel disrespected and no matter what come out of his mouth say it again and again until he says he is sorry and won't do it again.

You can't argue with how someone feels so saying I feel xxxxx tends to help push argument in your favor.

I hope this helps.
Keith

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Keith Ouellette

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My background has enabled me to answer any dating questions. My knowledge in attraction, understanding interpersonal communication, and the general dating dynamics is is unmatched.

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My book 200 Dates should be coming out later this year. It chronicles an unbelievable year where I went on 200 dates.

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200Dates.com

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Bachelor's Degree from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst Master's Degree from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas

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