General Dating Questions/What should I do?


My boyfriend and I have been dating since the beginning of January this year. Well, almost every time we are around his friends, it seems like they always somehow get onto the subject of other girls. He says that they are hot, beautiful, etc right in front of me. I guess that's probably not too bad...but what really bothers me is that it seems like he is really into older women, and he talks about it right in front of me. He said how he banged this one MILF. Then, he said that one time he thought about banging his friend's mom just to get back at her. Then, he said that one time he even wanted to bang someone's GRANDMA! He says these types of things right in front of me, and he is being dead serious...and it really bothers me.

See, he is a few years older than me. I thought guys were supposed to be biologically attracted to young, attractive females because they are in their childbearing years, plus they feel that they are in control.

Don't get me wrong, we have a great relationship, he treats me like a princess, and our sex is absolutely amazing, but it just hurts that he does that...and I would talk to him about it, but I have already brought it up before around the time we started dating. He got defensive about it and said that it's not like he wants to be with these girls. So that's why I feel like I can't talk to him about it...

So here are my questions: Is it wrong of him to talk like that in front of me? Should I start talking about how hot other guys are right in front of him just to show him how it feels? Should I avoid having sex with him for a while? What should I do?

Hi Sarah,

It is very common for men to talk like that together because they feel immense pressure from their friends to talk about that stuff during their youth and then it becomes a habit for some men when they are together.

I think the older woman is a fantasy because men like to think that sex would be very experienced but I think if your boyfriend has said he doesn't want to do that and it's just talk, believe it (for the reason I suggested above). Even if it were true, a fantasy is a fantasy and that's the magic of it, we all know the realities of them wouldn't be that great. My experience tells me it really is nothing and you should probably believe him about what he has said.

Two wrongs don't make a right and nor does not having sex with him. Game playing at the stage you are in your relationship is unnecessary to get what you want. If he's with his friends and you're tagging along, you may just have to ignore it if you know he's said it's not true. However, if it is a constant thing, you need to put your foot down and tell him it's not okay then explain how it makes you feel. You have the right to ask him to stop, as his girlfriend.

All the best!


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I can answer questions on how to meet people, confidence, what to do for the best dates, problems within relationships, how to interact with your partner and how to end relationships amicably and politely. More specifically, I am best at answering issues pertaining to trust, honesty, openness, fear and communication within relationships. It is important to know that everyone loves differently and we must first identify how a partner (or prospective) partner loves, in order to understand them. I cannot answer questions on whether or not someone sounds like they are interested, people are all different when they like or do not like people. I cannot tell you how someone may react or how a situation will end but merely offer you my advice on the subject.


I do not have professional experience in the area but my knowledge of psychology, teamed with forever being an agony aunt when it comes to relationships means that I have answered many questions on relationships and am proud to say I have seen quite a few relationships flourish with my advice. I am used to surveying people and guiding them in my daily working life. Due to this, I can read situations very well, often putting a much needed outside perspective to good use.

BSc (Hons) Psychology

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