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General Dating Questions/How do I attract the girl of my desire


Okay ,so I've been on and off obsessing about this girl from my school. When we first met she was a sophomore and I was a junior. So, now she's Junior and I'm a senior. We first met in a subway heading home and I said hi there, and she said hi. I asked he what her name was and she said her name was Chelsea. I said my name is Robert. We talked about classes and what grade we were but she never asked anything back. After I got off at my station I went home and just thought about her all night with a feeling just loving her already. So, I was thinking about her day in and day out. She was so dreamy. To mostly girls and some guys she isn't all that like she's not the type girl you would say is most popular or sexiest girl in school but she was so so pretty/cute. I always had the logic to be a little feminine with my approach with girls. I'm not gay btw I'm Asexual or you could say I'm on the verge of converting to a full asexual. I feel like I love this girl. I add her on facebook and I add her on instagram. But I felt I love her so much I just kept it sealed and visited her everyday in class to give her a hug as our classes were right across from each other during 4-5 period. SO, I once approached her saying Hello cutie, how are you? I said it in a soft tone kinda mixed wit my regular voice and a bit of a higher pitch with a little robotic sound to it to not seem or look gay ya know. She said "fine". The thing was she never asked back about me. Like we were walking down to the subway instead of taking the bus to it and I was talking but it didn't seem she was listening and she said she was but she was walking kind of fast but not to where it look liked she wanted to run away but I kept up to pace. I was talking but never did she ask back about me. I asked her out 2-3 weeks later after we first met and she said she's not ready. I usually take this as a BS way to keep you the man quiet but when I look back to that exact moment she seems sincere. Around Thanksgiving and my school had a Homecoming game and I was with my dad at the game and I saw her with some friends sitting and watching the game. I went to my Aunts house for Thanksgiving dinner but didn't eat much more than 2 plates of cranberry sauce and a bit of salad and just went down into the basement and watched tv and ate. Then went home 2hrs later thinking bout her. When I came my aunt asked if I was okay I looked slightly sad or down but said oh yeah I'm awesome. Then it was my birthday. We were in the subway. Well, we were on the train riding the local sitting in the same car. We were sitting right by each other. Nobody else from my school was around or in that same car for matter of fact. So, we stopped at a station where the express is available. Her station is open and has the express available. Mine does not. We were sitting and talking but nothing other than what we talked or what I've brought up since we first met. How's school? How your class etc stuff like that. So, she looked at the express and paused for a second with a thinking small thinking expression on her face. And She got up before the doors close(you got like 10-20 secs) and boarded the express but said "Happy Birthday Rob!" while almost sort of rushing to the express. I feel I really love this girl and want nobody but her. I plan to go to college to be a carpenter but I want her to be by my side forever as I succeed or plummet in life. I used to say her name out of nowhere in a super high pitched helium voice because I found it fun and I often did it with lots of other girls but I was starting to annoy myself with it and stopped doing it. I never really spotted any annoyances or maybe I'll never spot it because I have Asperger syndrome and ADHD. But I feel I love this girl and want nobody but her. What can I do? What should I do? What do you think of the overall situation? I really need help, I feel it deep from within that we're meant to be. No matter how hard I try to focus my mind and energy on me trying switch to having a bad a$$ attitude the feeling is still there. Whenever I'm near her and look eye to eye with her I have the urge to always giggle and in some cases laugh hard. Why am I always laughing? Nothing funny even happens. When I think of her, I feel passion. I have mostly a passion to succeed in my own life but I want her to be there with me by my side. I don't care if I'm going to be a senior and she going to be a junior. I just want to be her and she be mine. It's impossible to talk to her because her bff is always with her and she always make jokes about me and her and become a royal pain. As a 17 year old who lives in solitude and finds ways to manage it I have no problem. Should I give up? I only want her. Please help.

Hi Robert,

You have a common problem. I think everyone in high school goes through this phase at one point. I know I felt that way before. The future is pretty scare because it is so unknown at your age. Just know everyone feels the same way even if they don't show it.

As for this girl, I recommend playing it cool. When you like someone too much it shows and then they tend to pull away. Since you asked her out and she essentially said no you have to take a step back. It is nice that you have a good relationship. When you communicate with her next make a statement about whatever is going on and then let her fill in the conversation. If she doesn't then she probably isn't interested and you have to find a way to stand out in her eyes.

I hope this helps. There is no surefire way to make a person like you unless you stand out to them. You have to work on being a better Robert to get her or any girl to like you.

Best of luck,

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Keith Ouellette


My background has enabled me to answer any dating questions. My knowledge in attraction, understanding interpersonal communication, and the general dating dynamics is is unmatched.


My book 200 Dates should be coming out later this year. It chronicles an unbelievable year where I went on 200 dates.


Bachelor's Degree from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst Master's Degree from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas

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