General Dating Questions/My boyfriend's dog.

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Question
Is it silly for a dog to cause a breakup? I feel uncomfortable with/my boyfriend dog at my place because he takes over my space and is untrained. He's extremely rambunctious and he demands attention 100% of the time by putting his face directly in your face, snapping at your hands, or physically crawling all over you. He sheds a TON, he does not come when called, does not sit or stay, begs for food by putting himself directly in your face and will try to take food off of your plate if you're not watching him like a hawk. Anyway, I LOVE dogs and have had two myself, but I have zero tolerance for dogs this poorly trained.I'm worried that if I bring it up, I'll seem heartless and selfish. He can't really get rid of the dog, but hate it when he brings his dog over to my apartment ALL the time now. I don't think we could have a future together if we were to progress and move in together as long as he has this dog (the dog is about 2.5 years old). How do I talk to my boyfriend about my issues with the dog without offending him? He was supposed to take the dog to obedience class and hasn't gotten around to it. He was also supposed to take him to the groomers to get his painfully long nails clipped, but he hasn't done that either. Help?

Answer
Hi there,

You are preaching to the choir on this one. I too am a dog lover and owner but cannot stand untrained, misbehaved dogs. It drives me crazy! So I completely understand where you are coming from here. As you know from experience and likely from The Dog Whisperer, dogs need a pack leader to teach them rules, boundaries, and limitations, in addition to providing food, water and affection of course. Iím sure there will be those who disagree with me on the pack leader thing, but I have seen this work with my own eyes countless times during my years as a volunteer at a local animal shelter. However, most people do not realize the commitment and work it takes to raise and train a dog properly. Point in case, your boyfriend.

You need to be honest and upfront with your boyfriend on this, regardless of how harsh it may seem. I say this because you yourself said you cannot see a future together with your boyfriend with this dog in it. That has very serious implications and is something that should be made known early on as to avoid wasted energy down the road. You may also want to ask yourself how responsible your boyfriend is if he committed to getting a dog but will not do what is necessary and in the dogís best interest (i.e. obedience classes, grooming needs, etc.). This could have farther reaching implications than just the dog.

Now, you can approach this one of two ways. First is all out honesty where you just lay it all out on the table (in a calm manner of course) and see what your boyfriendís reaction is. The second way, if youíre compelled to, is to let him know that you would like to help him get things situated with his dog by going with him to obedience classes, working in tandem with him to reinforce training on the dog (outside of your home), etc.

Thatís really about it. Thereís no magic way around this. Itís one of those situations that must be dealt with swiftly and tactfully. I wish you luck!

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Mike Lamb

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My expertise is in answering questions from men about dating women. I have a wealth of knowledge pertaining to nearly all facets of the dating world today. We all know that there are ways to be successful in dating, but what are they? I can answer that for you. I want to teach you how to find not just any woman who will date you, but the RIGHT woman who has long-term potential for a healthy relationship. That starts with how you act and treat women in the very beginning of the dating stages. I can teach how to get there and stay there for the duration of the relationship, on into marriage if that's where it leads. My aim is to teach you to respect yourselves as men first, to be gentlemen, and to change your life for the better. That is my passion. I want to support all good men in successful dating practices. I am not here to offer pick-up techniques or to help you get women into bed. My purpose is more noble than that. I cannot answer questions pertaining to psychology or psychological problems as these would best be addressed by a licensed mental health counselor.

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For over a decade, I have dedicated myself to becoming a better man and to understanding women. This has led me to all sorts of seminars, training programs, books, etc. There is a wealth of information out there, but how much of it really is useful in real-world application? I have narrowed down the best and most-relevant information for men as it pertains to dating. This is information I have tested and learned in the real world from personal experiences and also gathered from the personal experiences of those closest to me.

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