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General Dating Questions/Ho to attract the girl of my desires


How can I attract this girl? Should I give up and move on?

Okay ,so I've been on and off obsessing about this girl from my school. When we first met she was a sophomore and I was a junior. So, now she's Junior and I'm a senior. We first met in a subway heading home and I said hi there, and she said hi. I asked he what her name was and she said her name was Chelsea. I said my name is Robert. We talked about classes and what grade we were but she never asked anything back. After I got off at my station I went home and just thought about her all night with a feeling just loving her already. So, I was thinking about her day in and day out. She was so dreamy. To mostly girls and some guys she isn't all that like she's not the type girl you would say is most popular or sexiest girl in school but she was so so pretty/cute. I always had the logic to be a little feminine with my approach with girls. I'm not gay btw I'm Asexual or you could say I'm on the verge of converting to a full asexual. I feel like I love this girl. I add her on facebook and I add her on instagram. But I felt I love her so much I just kept it sealed and visited her everyday in class to give her a hug as our classes were right across from each other during 4-5 period. SO, I once approached her saying Hello cutie, how are you? I said it in a soft tone kinda mixed wit my regular voice and a bit of a higher pitch with a little robotic sound to it to not seem or look gay ya know. She said "fine". The thing was she never asked back about me. Like we were walking down to the subway instead of taking the bus to it and I was talking but it didn't seem she was listening and she said she was but she was walking kind of fast but not to where it look liked she wanted to run away but I kept up to pace. I was talking but never did she ask back about me. I asked her out 2-3 weeks later after we first met and she said she's not ready. I usually take this as a BS way to keep you the man quiet but when I look back to that exact moment she seems sincere. Around Thanksgiving and my school had a Homecoming game and I was with my dad at the game and I saw her with some friends sitting and watching the game. I went to my Aunts house for Thanksgiving dinner but didn't eat much more than 2 plates of cranberry sauce and a bit of salad and just went down into the basement and watched tv and ate. Then went home 2hrs later thinking bout her. When I came my aunt asked if I was okay I looked slightly sad or down but said oh yeah I'm awesome. Then it was my birthday. We were in the subway. Well, we were on the train riding the local sitting in the same car. We were sitting right by each other. Nobody else from my school was around or in that same car for matter of fact. So, we stopped at a station where the express is available. Her station is open and has the express available. Mine does not. We were sitting and talking but nothing other than what we talked or what I've brought up since we first met. How's school? How your class etc stuff like that. So, she looked at the express and paused for a second with a thinking small thinking expression on her face. And She got up before the doors close(you got like 10-20 secs) and boarded the express but said "Happy Birthday Rob!" while almost sort of rushing to the express. I feel I really love this girl and want nobody but her. I plan to go to college to be a carpenter but I want her to be by my side forever as I succeed or plummet in life. I used to say her name out of nowhere in a super high pitched helium voice because I found it fun and I often did it with lots of other girls but I was starting to annoy myself with it and stopped doing it. I never really spotted any annoyances or maybe I'll never spot it because I have Asperger syndrome and ADHD. But I feel I love this girl and want nobody but her. What can I do? What should I do? What do you think of the overall situation? I really need help, I feel it deep from within that we're meant to be. No matter how hard I try to focus my mind and energy on me trying switch to having a bad a$$ attitude the feeling is still there. Whenever I'm near her and look eye to eye with her I have the urge to always giggle and in some cases laugh hard. Why am I always laughing? Nothing funny even happens. When I think of her, I feel passion. I have mostly a passion to succeed in my own life but I want her to be there with me by my side. I don't care if I'm going to be a senior and she going to be a junior. I just want to be her and she be mine. As a 17 year old who lives in solitude and finds ways to manage it I have no problem. Should I give up? I only want her. Please help.

Hi Robert,

Thank-you for your question. This is a difficult question to answer as you and I are coming from different planes of perspective. You see, when you are a teenager on into your early twenties, both guys and girls, but especially girls, will fall in and out of love easily. What seems like an inevitable draw toward this girl, which you call love, I might call lust or admiration. That is different than love. Lust is more about the obsession than any real connection between you two. I tell every guy that I help the same thing…you have to go by her ACTIONS. What she says does not mean nearly as much as what she does (her actions toward you). From what you describe in your scenario, her actions are telling me and therefore you that she is not interested in you romantically but only as acquaintances. I don’t want you to come down hard on yourself about this as there have been many girls in my life when I was your age that I felt the same way about, but they did not feel that way toward me. As you get older, you realize that this is the Universe’s way of teaching us to love ourselves first and be confident in who we are before any girl can feel that from you. I hope that makes sense.

I will get a bit metaphysical here for a second. Perhaps you knew this girl in another lifetime, and that is the reason you feel such a strong connection to this girl whom you don’t even really know in this lifetime.

Here’s my recommendation for you. Take the obsessive energy you have toward this girl and redirect inward toward yourself. Use that extra energy to enlighten yourself as a man, as a spiritual being, and go forth confidently. It is time to move on to bigger and better things than this girl my friend. Life is short so seize each moment for the wonder it can provide. I wish you the best.  

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Mike Lamb


My expertise is in answering questions from men about dating women. I have a wealth of knowledge pertaining to nearly all facets of the dating world today. We all know that there are ways to be successful in dating, but what are they? I can answer that for you. I want to teach you how to find not just any woman who will date you, but the RIGHT woman who has long-term potential for a healthy relationship. That starts with how you act and treat women in the very beginning of the dating stages. I can teach how to get there and stay there for the duration of the relationship, on into marriage if that's where it leads. My aim is to teach you to respect yourselves as men first, to be gentlemen, and to change your life for the better. That is my passion. I want to support all good men in successful dating practices. I am not here to offer pick-up techniques or to help you get women into bed. My purpose is more noble than that. I cannot answer questions pertaining to psychology or psychological problems as these would best be addressed by a licensed mental health counselor.


For over a decade, I have dedicated myself to becoming a better man and to understanding women. This has led me to all sorts of seminars, training programs, books, etc. There is a wealth of information out there, but how much of it really is useful in real-world application? I have narrowed down the best and most-relevant information for men as it pertains to dating. This is information I have tested and learned in the real world from personal experiences and also gathered from the personal experiences of those closest to me.

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