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General Dating Questions/Why is he still contacting me?


my ex dumped me last month (due to the fact that he just was too immature to be in a relationship),.. however he still begged to be friends and told me not to be mad at him..he called me once after the breakup but i ignored him.. then i got a new cell with a new number ,

(i began seeing a new guy who had the same first name as him, we dated for a month but it just wasnt working)

then 3 weeks later he created a facebook (he never had before)..he added me and started talking to me and then we started texting eachother again...hes been asking to hang out again and seems nicer then usual..he began asking questions about my recent ex boyfriend, asking how long we were together and stuff.

anyways after almost every txt he puts a wink face, and then recently i told him im sick and he said "feel better baby hehe"....

but the thing is is that i only hear from him once a week, when he told me we should hang out that was last week but he never said when...yea so he just texts me bout one day a week so does that mean he doesnt really care?

We dated for a year and a half..

Hello Nancy!

First of all, if his excuse was that he was "too immature" for a relationship don't you think something else is going on here? I sure do. It's the old, "It's not you baby - it's ME" line!

In other words, he dumped you because he wasn't interested in a relationship WITH YOU. Nobody actually tells others they are "too immature". Think about that for a second. He's 100% of his age. I don't care if he's 12-years-old, he'd never think he was "too immature" for anything! Based on what measure would that ever be true?

Here's another thing to consider: after a month, what exactly does he miss? I'll bet it's not whatever fighting you and he had before the breakup. Far more likely, it's the sex. He's now past the point of feeling trapped but is remembering - and missing - the intimacy. Frankly, that's very common in breakups and is the #1 reason why people breakup and then get back together again - often repeatedly.

As to him "caring" there's no possible way for me to know. You know him far better than I do! It's very difficult to use some pattern as any indication of what someone is thinking or feeling. There are just far too many reasons why people do what they do, think what they think and say what they say.

You have a much bigger issue at hand here however. Consider that; whatever broke you two up in the first place (and trust me, it wasn't his "immaturity") is still there! Nothing has fixed that at all. Even if he does "care" the original problems would just come flooding right back once you got back together. Unless you could fix all of that first, it really doesn't matter how much or how little he "cares".

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

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