General Dating Questions/The guy I like...


So basically this is what happened. I've been really close friends with this guy (I'll call him Vince) for about a half a year. He was my very first friend at college, and he's still one of my best friends. For about the first two months of college, I'd say we were sort of a "thing." We hung out together ALL the time. I never really told anyone that I had this massive crush on him except my roommate. Well a couple months ago I found out that one of my close friends had a crush on him too. Since I never told her I liked Vince, I figured it's be best to follow some sort of "girl code" and kind of back off of Vince until she got over her crush. (That was the STUPIDEST idea ever on my part). My friend was always talking about wishing that Vince would invite her to hang out with him, and he never did, so I thought it would look REALLY bad if I hung out with him a lot. So I started turning him down to hang out with him, saying I was busy or had homework to do.I didn't want to lose a friend over a guy. My friend eventually got over her crush, so I started making my move on Vince again. Well Vince thought he got "friendzoned," which is NOT what I wanted at all! He obviously moved on, he's been in a sort of on/off relationship with this slutty girl who lives down the hall from me, and I just can't see it working out. She is a hardcore partier, and he is just such a sweet guy who doesn't get involved with any of that kind of stuff. I like him so much; he's one of the only people EVER that I can be completely myself with and feel comfortable hanging out with alone. I just don't know what to do. I've never gotten this hung up on a guy before.

Not to question a woman on matters of communication but it seems like your lack of straightforwardness has made you have to put on an act to be sensitive to the needs of other people. If you think that he thinks that you've "friendzoned" him than just tell him you had a crush on him and still care for him quite a bit. He might as well know that he was always potentially more than just a friend. In life regret the things you didn't do versus did.

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First and foremost if you read ahead you'll find I have a word limit on questions I'll read. This site is for short simple questions and it should not be for writing essays. Please also note I am unfamilar with most cultures outside of United Stated, UK, and France. Please respect my rules. I don't like rejecting questions. I will be the first to admit that I don't know everything about dating, women/men, and interpersonal connections. However I have learned quite a bit vicariously from other people's experiences. Think of my advice as a second opinion. I would be happy to answer all questions related to relationships, dating, self-confidence, and self-image that I can. I have struggled with all of those things and probably know better than most how to deal with all of them.

I hope more than anything that my advice and opinions will help give people perspective in their lives, and hopefully make them feel better about themselves and their situations. I will attempt answering questions for anyone of any age group or nationality. However it would be particularly useful to know the age of all people involved. It does make a difference towards the advice I give. Also not terribly familar with arranged marriages and situations in which the family can dictate the details of the relationship.

My Rules:
1). I can't answer questions that ask if a girl or guy likes the other (very difficult to know remotely)
2). No questions that are More Than 250 Words. I understand that problems can be complex, but there is a real limit to how much I can read and fully understand. Particularly if English isn't the questioner's native language.
3). Only questions from Americans, Canadians, British, and cute French women.
4). No questions that ask the meaning behind if a person sets their FB status to single, coupled, or private or if they still have a dating profile undeleted somewhere. If you're cyber snooping you're likely the issue.


I don't really have any specific experience in this area other than learning from other people's mistakes and a few of my own, and whatever I've learned as a psychology major.

B.S. Psychology

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