General Dating Questions/The guy I like........


So basically this is what happened. I've been really close friends with this guy (I'll call him Vince) for about a half a year. He was my very first friend at college, and he's still one of my best friends. For about the first two months of college, I'd say we were sort of a "thing." We hung out together ALL the time. I never really told anyone that I had this massive crush on him except my roommate. Well a couple months ago I found out that one of my close friends had a crush on him too. Since I never told her I liked Vince, I figured it's be best to follow some sort of "girl code" and kind of back off of Vince until she got over her crush. (That was the STUPIDEST idea ever on my part). My friend was always talking about wishing that Vince would invite her to hang out with him, and he never did, so I thought it would look REALLY bad if I hung out with him a lot. So I started turning him down to hang out with him, saying I was busy or had homework to do.I didn't want to lose a friend over a guy. My friend eventually got over her crush, so I started making my move on Vince again. Well Vince thought he got "friendzoned," which is NOT what I wanted at all! He obviously moved on, he's been in a sort of on/off relationship with this slutty girl who lives down the hall from me, and I just can't see it working out. She is a hardcore partier, and he is just such a sweet guy who doesn't get involved with any of that kind of stuff. I like him so much; he's one of the only people EVER that I can be completely myself with and feel comfortable hanging out with alone. I just don't know what to do. I've never gotten this hung up on a guy before.

if he felt as you do, wouldn't he have told you or asked you out on a "real" date by now?..excuse me, that wasn't the answer, it was a request for more information; sadly u disrespectfully blamed the messenger because u didn't like the message; the REAL answer is you're sadly stuck in denial over a guy who's obviously not that into you, and regarding what to do, realize it and move on...

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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