General Dating Questions/This guy...


So basically this is what happened. I've been really close friends with this guy (I'll call him Vince) for about a half a year. He was my very first friend at college, and he's still one of my best friends. For about the first two months of college, I'd say we were sort of a "thing." We hung out together ALL the time. I never really told anyone that I had this massive crush on him except my roommate. Well a couple months ago I found out that one of my close friends had a crush on him too. Since I never told her I liked Vince, I figured it's be best to follow some sort of "girl code" and kind of back off of Vince until she got over her crush. (That was the STUPIDEST idea ever on my part). My friend was always talking about wishing that Vince would invite her to hang out with him, and he never did, so I thought it would look REALLY bad if I hung out with him a lot. So I started turning him down to hang out with him, saying I was busy or had homework to do.I didn't want to lose a friend over a guy. My friend eventually got over her crush, so I started making my move on Vince again. Well Vince thought he got "friendzoned," which is NOT what I wanted at all! He obviously moved on, he's been in a sort of on/off relationship with this slutty girl who lives down the hall from me, and I just can't see it working out. She is a hardcore partier, and he is just such a sweet guy who doesn't get involved with any of that kind of stuff. I like him so much; he's one of the only people EVER that I can be completely myself with and feel comfortable hanging out with alone. I just don't know what to do. I've never gotten this hung up on a guy before.

Hello Rachel!

Yeah, life is funny that way. If you don't take the opportunities it gives you, it stops giving them to you. Worse, it takes what opportunities you had away.

You didn't ask me a question here so I don't know what you want to know. Is this sad? Yes. Is it avoidable? Absolutely. Can you turn this around? I don't know. Will you get over it? Without a doubt.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Doctor of Philosophy

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