General Dating Questions/Homesick girlfriend


Hello Mike. I am hoping you could give me some insight as to what my girlfriends intentions are by what she told me today.

OK, so today, this morning, she tells me she is homesick, and next week she will stay a few nights at her parents place to spend time with her family. She tells me she misses the morning rituals of waking up with her parents and making coffee and watching the morning news and such. I took this in a bad way. I feel rejected and hurt. I am not sure what I should feel.

But maybe some background; so we have known each other for about 6-7 months and have been dating for around 5 months. She moved in with me about a month ago. She is 27 years old and up until a month ago, she was living at home, with her parents. Her parents live 10 miles away and she sees them and her family frequently.

The moment she told me she wanted to spend a few nights at her parents, I had a rush of negative feelings. She tells me all the time that she can't sleep without me ( I work late occasionally) and has not once felt she made the wrong decision by moving in. Please help me to understand this situation. Did I over react to what she said?

Thanks Mike. Jared

Hi Jared,

Thank-you for your question. With the limited information I have here, I will give you my honest feedback.

What you are guilty of here, in my opinion, is moving way too fast with this girl. You have only known each other 6-7 months and dating for 5 and you already had her move in with you? You have got to learn to slow things down when it comes to women. Moving in together is a HUGE change and commitment and is frequently underestimated by men. I know it seems like if she is sleeping over at your place all the time anyway, what's the difference right? Wrong! It really is a big difference, and I can attest to this from personal experience with doing the exact same thing. Learn from my mistake. It just changes the whole dynamic of the relationship when you have to be around this person under one roof constantly.

In my opinion, the reason she is telling you she is homesick is because you two went into this two fast, and she doesn't know how to say this without hurting your feelings. That is why I am saying it to you here, so that you can salvage this relationship before it's too late. This is why you got the rush of negative feeling when she told you this, by the way, because that is your gut telling you something is wrong or off. And it is. You have got to learn to listen to your gut instinct more in dating and in life. Your head and your heart can fool you but your gut remains objective to the situation. So what to do now...

I suggest opening the lines of communication with her on this and have a CALM but honest conversation with her. Tell her that you think perhaps the two of you jumped into moving in together a bit quickly and you want to know how she feels about it. Take it from there. Perhaps you can tell her that she should go back to living with her parents until the two of you have progressed a bit further in your relationship to make such a big commitment. If she is not mature enough to handle this discussion, I'm not sure how you guys will be able to work things out together in the future successfully. I am not trying to sound or be harsh here, I just want to be honest with you.

Please let me know if anything other questions come to mind. Good luck my friend.  

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Mike Lamb


My expertise is in answering questions from men about dating women. I have a wealth of knowledge pertaining to nearly all facets of the dating world today. We all know that there are ways to be successful in dating, but what are they? I can answer that for you. I want to teach you how to find not just any woman who will date you, but the RIGHT woman who has long-term potential for a healthy relationship. That starts with how you act and treat women in the very beginning of the dating stages. I can teach how to get there and stay there for the duration of the relationship, on into marriage if that's where it leads. My aim is to teach you to respect yourselves as men first, to be gentlemen, and to change your life for the better. That is my passion. I want to support all good men in successful dating practices. I am not here to offer pick-up techniques or to help you get women into bed. My purpose is more noble than that. I cannot answer questions pertaining to psychology or psychological problems as these would best be addressed by a licensed mental health counselor.


For over a decade, I have dedicated myself to becoming a better man and to understanding women. This has led me to all sorts of seminars, training programs, books, etc. There is a wealth of information out there, but how much of it really is useful in real-world application? I have narrowed down the best and most-relevant information for men as it pertains to dating. This is information I have tested and learned in the real world from personal experiences and also gathered from the personal experiences of those closest to me.

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