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General Dating Questions/Is He Not Interested or Am I Over Reacting?


So I have been seeing this guy I met online for a little over a month now. We have been having sex since about date 3. Things were going well and we were seeing each other about once a week, and he usually was the one to reach out about plans. He then invited me to a party with his friends, and the only other girls there were girlfriends of the other guys. Things went really well that day, and he was super touchy and flirty (in front of and not in front of his friends). However we were drinking that day. But he convinced me to sleep over that night even though we both had work in the morning. He gave me a back massage, and we cuddled all night, among more sexual activities. After that we exchanged some flirty texts back and forth and then I reached out about plans for the next time, which he seemed enthusiastic about. When we hung out it was a more casual setting (came over to watch a movie) but he seemed a little uninterested. His body language was flirty (i.e. hand holding and cuddling) but he just didnt talk much. He is slightly shy, but this was less talking than was normal for him. After that I texted him on Friday about plans, and he responded after midnight saying his phone died but that I should tag along with his Saturday plans. Saturday I hadn't heard from him, so I texted him again and he said he was sick. I'm afraid that was a cop out, because if I were lying to get out of something, that is exactly how I would say it. He suggested hanging out another time, and I said how about Monday (today) or Tuesday? And responded enthusiastically. However, it is monday now and I still havent heard from him but I dont want to be the one always reaching out now.

Am I overreacting about all of this? Is he interested, or is his interest starting to disappear?? Please help, I'm going crazy over this!

neither one of us can read his mind, but we can observe his behavior, which says he's perhaps less interested than you, inconsiderate, or both; he's the guy--up to him to find YOU--stop contacting and see what he does--if you're "goin crazy" over his indifference, you're way too emotionally involved; lower expectations to zero, refocus on YOUR life, if he calls for a date, fine, if not, make that fine as well.....

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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