General Dating Questions/Love
QUESTION: I went on a date with a guy. I had been really attracted to him for months. He had been texting me for 4 months but I was unsure of him. Reason is. I asked him out once and he said he would think about it. I texted him this place for lunch and dinner and he said he was interested and liked that place. but then he stopped talking to me. He did not get back to me and then I dated 12 other men and then forgot about him. he then kept on texting me saying hi but i didn't really talk to him much because I was unsure of his intentions. He then texted me again weeks later and started talking to me regularly so I finally asked him out again and if he wanted to go out for dinner.
We set a time for dinner and drinks at 7:00 pm. He came at 6:45 pm and texted me that he was there, I texted back that I right across the street at the stoplight, and he said no worries take your time. I came at 6:55 pm. When I came, I saw that he had already ordered a beer and started drinking it. Hmm. Ok.
I sat down and we ordered some appetizers. He whined about what he didn't like about the lettuce wraps to the waiter, the way the lettuce was cut (yes it really was crappy) and sent it back and got something else.
He told the waitress in a very dismissive tone "can you tell your manager about how we don't like the lettuce wrap."
He went to use the restroom. He came back and I told him, excuse me, I'm going to use the restroom now too. He said "why didn't you just go when I went?" (Umm?...because it's rude for a woman to just take off when a guy leaves the table? and she should probably wait for him to come back before she leaves to pee too? uhh what??) Ok whatever.
He said he was looking for a side job. I talked to him about how I got most of my jobs from Craigslist, and how I applied on other websites for other stuff, and how I tutored 4-5 year olds when I was really out of cash, basically just sitting next to them and teaching them 1,2,3 and A,B,C when I was desperate for a job and couldn't find anything, you just had to be resourceful, and that I played some musical instruments so I taught the little kids that too and that's how I made money when I was poor and I advertised all my services on Craigslist. And he said "wow I learned a whole ton of stuff from you I didn't know. I would not even think of that."
I saw him staring at me during the date not moving. Just gazing at me. With a very dark fixated gaze. Hmm.
At the end of the date we got up to leave, his eyes were darting around everywhere but me. So I started walking to our cars and I told him I had a good time. I said my car was over there. He said "ok my car is over there" in the opposite direction and was about to dash off to his car. (He doesn't want to walk me to my car?) He was about to take off. I said "wait aren't you forgetting something?" He snapped his head around, and turned around. I leaned in to kiss him, and he hugged me for a while and kissed me back. He said we should hang out again. Then he dashed off to his car like a maniac. (In his defense it is freezing cold).
Judging from his behavior to the waiter and towards me, what do you feel?
Ignorant? Tool? Dumb? Or just a condescending snooty person who is inconsiderate of others?
Or just inexperienced with dating women and I should give him a chance? I am very attracted to him but I don't need to babysit a man LOL. But if he's just clueless around girls I won't mind it. But if he's purposely rude, I dunno. What do you feel?
ANSWER: Hi Love,
it seems to me that this guy is definitely all of the above, except for the fact that he probably does have experience dating girls if you find him to be attractive, which maybe more women do. Unfortunately, there are some of these people out there and you have to just take it with a grain of salt and move on to the next one, which is what I think you should do. This guy is a) rude to workers, which is a red flag that he is insensitive and b) socially inadequate. From the sounds of your date, it didn't sound like anything was comfortable or "flow". If you feel like you'd like to give him a second chance, I'd wait for him to get back to you and see if he's interested in doing that. But do NOT get in touch with him first.
Hope this helps and good luck,
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: We were supposed to go on another date. A few hours before the date, I texted him asking if we were still on for tonight. He said yes but it would take him an hour to drive back home and then he would text me once he got home and before he started out. He then texted me later on saying he was home and he cancelled, saying that he was "hungry and tired" so can we reschedule and move it to next week.
Hungry and tired? Really?
So I lied and said I was already there, just to see his reaction, and he said I'm sorry you're already there but I can't make it. Let's reschedule for next week.
ANSWER: Ditch the guy and stop testing him to see if he'll perform the way you want him to. Men never respond to tests. Just be yourself and let him be himself, because that is how you will really be able to see the compatibility of your personalities. I think you're just drawn to him because physically you're attracted to him, but it's written all over you that you are not attracted to his personality and mannerisms.
Best of luck,
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: In your personal opinion, what do you feel is wrong with this man?
It seems like this man is a man-child. Personally, it seems to me that he does not know how to interact with women and it looks like you're emotionally available to him because you're very attracted to him, which is what is blinding you from seeing this fully. He does not seem to be putting in the appropriate effort as a gentleman should to date someone seriously. Also, in terms of character traits, the way he spoke to the waitress was rather rude and his overall behaviour was quite tacky, to say the least.
Hope this helps,