General Dating Questions/Men and dating


Dear Dr. Dennis W. Neder,


Is it better to always let the man make the move?

I always ask for guys numbers, call them, set up dates, suggest ideas for dates...but men rudely shoot me down, and shoot down whatever ideas I have. I don't pressure them, I merely suggest ideas with 1-2 light texts. But they don't seem to like it.

So is it better to always let the man initiate? Problem is, if I don't follow up with a guy at all, he just stops talking to me entirely.

What do you advise?


Hello Trinity!

No. As I've told you in the past, it's better for both genders to initiate things be they initial contacts, dates, sex, relationships and everything in between.

There are many aspects to this however including going after the right guys (or girls), considering timing, realizing that many people (men AND women) are incredibly self-absorbed, rude, inconsiderate and flaky.

Most women prefer to not have to do all these things but the fact is, dating is changing. Women today live in a world of unusual privilege and opportunity. They often expect men to be part of that privilege and in fact; due to your own success, many men have simply opted out.

In other words, these guys realize that you've won all of these hard-fought battles, but they, themselves have thrown up their hands and chosen not to play. That's why you're seeing much of what you're seeing with guys today.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Doctor of Philosophy

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