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General Dating Questions/Whats up with this girl?


Hello Dr Dennis,

There was this girl I felt was interested in me in college. So I reciprocated some interest as well, by asking her questions about herself and her college. i also iniated a text conversation.The next thing I know she starts ignoring me. Then suddenly she starts acknowledging me in person and then she plays cold again.

I was posses off and I began ignoring her. I was very cold to her in person, barely said a hi every time we met. And I never tested her at all anymore. I did this for about 2 months.

Once she even went on to compliment my profile pic on Facebook when I have her the cold shoulder in college. I know that she was trying to get my attention back, probably fearing she lost it.

However, recently my friend spoke about me to her. She was saying some good things about me such as I was a damn sweet and damn cool guy.

So I thought of maybe just wishing her luck before our final exams. I never got a chance to meet her in school, so I tested her. She replied and we talked awhile. She then said we should meet up and I asked her if lunch around college would be okay. She said sure. Then I set a day but she couldn't make it and she said the following week would be good. Then our conversation broke down when she didn't reply my last text. So I followed up after 3 days asking her when were her papers. She didn't reply and it has been 5 days since.

To be honest I really feel disrespected. I know she is playing some sort of game, but was she even sincere when she said we should meet up? I was sincere when I wished her all the best, and she could have just said thanks and talked something else. Why did she have to initiate something she was not serious about? I think it's extremely rude of her.

Now how do I react to her? Also, did I screw up with her? I still am interested in her. What can I do to turn things around? If there is no way at all for us to get together, at the very least, even if I do not get this girl, I want to restore some self respect and let her know that I can't be bothered. What do I do?

Hello Thierry!

You've asked me this question before and I've already answered it. Do you really think you'll get a different answer if you ask me again?

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Doctor of Philosophy

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