General Dating Questions/How would YOU apprach a woman, Mike?
It's me again :) I'm half-way through the Doc Love book. There's a lot of very good points risen, and i have made notes on all the chapters i have read so far (however, Doc Love's *constant* ranting about 'feministas' and communists is becoming very tiresome. But i suppose the US has a different culture to mine (I live in the UK), and so I try to just ignore it and be tolerant).
One thing which came to my attention, was that this manual (or what i've read so far) isn't quite for where i am right now.
Doc Love mainly discusses how to behave on the first date and the first 60 days. But this isn't my problem for me right now, because I've only had one date in my life! (The one we discussed before). If i approached 100 women, no more than one woman wouldn't ignore me/give me a fake number. So even getting dates is out of my league.
What I want to know is how YOU approach women, Mr Lamb. I don't want to know Doc Love's technique or anyone elses. I trust you and your technique.
Suppose you went back in time to when you were single, and you saw a gorgeous woman waiting for the train or bus, or just walking down the street, what would you do?
Please be as descriptive as possible. Starting from how you would get her attention/approach her, how you would build trust and romantic emotions, and then close for the mobile number in such a way that the chances she'll refuse are minimal.
Hi again Ryan,
I am very glad you ordered the book. I realize his writing style can be a bit jarring/quirky at times, but I can assure you the information contained in that book is golden. It is true that the UK has a different culture than the U.S. does, but the information is valid no matter where you are in the world! Point taken with where you are right now in your dating life, but you need to remember that the information I am sharing with you and the book is giving you is preparing you for where you WANT to be. That is a very important thing my friend. BE PREPARED. When you finally find that girl that you know you want, you will be prepared to do the right things to make her fall in love with you and keep her in love with you over the long haul. So keep reading this book over and over again.
I know exactly where you are coming from on approaching women. There is nothing more seemingly intimidating than walking up to a total stranger that you are interested in meeting and coming up with something good to say. Women know this keep in mind and let you off the hook a little bit knowing how intimidating the situation can be. I wish there was one guaranteed way to do this or one thing to say that would guarantee results, but I believe in being honest with those I help. Getting a girl’s number who is a total stranger off the streets whom you just met is not a highly probable way to get a date. This is for the big leagues. It takes a ton of guts, and cool/calm behavior for this to work. The odds are against you in this situation unfortunately. In that light, you have to take some of the pressure off yourself and realize that the majority of men are not good at approaching women and often overthink it to the point where they just freeze up during the moment of truth. It is a numbers game and you have to put yourself out there in order to meet new women. A prominent psychiatrist defined courage as “doing the right thing regardless of how it feels.” This especially applies to approaching women. You may be scared, nervous, excited or all of the above. You need to realize that it takes courage to date women so you must start by having the courage to approach regardless of how you feel. I can assure you the more you approach women, the easier and more natural it will become.
I recommend you start by approaching women that you don’t find overly attractive. Perhaps they look nice, but you would not want to date them. You approach these girls, say hi, strike up a conversation and learn to make girls laugh all in an effort to become more comfortable in approaching the really attractive women who you do want to date. So start there. Practice, practice, practice! Practice makes perfect.
Now, you want to know how I would personally approach a woman. Fair enough. I have approached many women in my formerly single days and recall it well. Let’s use the example of we’re waiting for the train. I look over and see a cute girl that peaks my interest. I would first look around for any boyfriends/husbands of course, trying to take note if she is wearing a wedding ring. No ring, all good. I would then try to see if she will look over at me. If she looks at me, I smile and she smiles back, game on. Girls will always give you extended eye contact if they are interested in you. If she sees you smile and turns away without returning the gesture, move on.
There are two ways that I like to approach women. The first is that I would find something to GENUINELY compliment her on. This does NOT mean she has a nice face, ass, tits, etc. This means, for example, that she is dressed very classy and I like that about her. So I walk up and say something to the effect of “You know, I just had to tell you how refreshing it is to see such a classy woman waiting for the train… you carry yourself beautifully.” See how she reacts. If she is flattered, starts playing with her hair, etc. then you’ve got a chance with this one. From there I would go into small talk about riding the train, how often she rides it, what part of town she is from, etc. The key is to ask open-ended questions (not yes or no questions), listen to her response (and listen well!) and formulate another question to ask based on the feedback she just provided you. Do this for 5 minutes maybe and prepare for the close. BEFORE the conversation winds down into awkward silence, I would say “it was a pleasure chatting with you ____, you strike me as someone I’d like to get to know better on a more personal level, would you like to meet me for a cup of coffee/tea sometime?” From there, it’s obvious, if she says yes without hesitation, just ask for the phone number and get the hell out of there before you mess it up! I would not even sit next to her on the train or even in the same car! You want to get this girl wondering about you from the get go. Maybe you even take the next train? Now, if after you ask for the coffee date, she hesitates, looks like she’s having convulsions, apparently trying to dodge the question, just cut her off and say “look no worries, I just thought I would ask. It was still good chatting with you, and I’m sure I’ll see you around. Take care.” And walk away, just like that. You have to learn to be a strong man and respect yourself first. A woman who hesitates to take the date or give you her phone number is a waste of your time anyway.
Again, with all that said, approaching strangers on the street is a very tough way to find dates. It takes a lot of confidence and guts to pull off. You are better off looking for those who engage in similar social activities together, a customer at your workplace (if that is allowed), etc. Women who will have some semblance of similarity with you as a way of easily breaking the ice. I hope this helps my friend. Go out there and practice and keep reading the book! Oh yeah, by the way, did you get an order number for your Doc Love book? If so, please send that order number my way so I can track who of those on here have bought the book. I appreciate it. Thanks and have fun!