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General Dating Questions/where and how can I meet a man??!!


Hi. I am 37, never married, have no children. I work nights and many weekends. I am having trouble meeting available, interested men who want more than strictly sex. I have tried several online sites for a year and have had no success at all. I put a lot of effort into my online profile and my pictures are good in my opinion; they are very close-up, clear and I am smiling. I wear makeup daily and dress well and do my hair. I am very full-figured though and I know this turns many potential boyfriends off. I'm getting very discouraged and feel like I'm not ever going to find someone who is a great match and that I am going to have to settle for less. I'm not going to lose weight simply to get a man but I am working on it, a little at a time. My self-confidence changes from day to day; sometimes it's high and other days pretty low. I feel like I look pretty damn good for being a bigger woman and am very proportionate for my size. But deep down I do feel like I am going to have to settle for less than I want and/or deserve. I may do the online dating for a few more months, but I'm about done. Another thing that doesn't help me in meeting someone is that I don't have female friends to even go out with; my good friends live an hour from me. I have asked them and family members if they know of anyone to introduce me to and no such luck!  So I guess another question I have for you is: How can I also meet potential female friends? I try to stay busy but I get pretty lonely sometimes. I'm not getting any younger and I feel like I'm just kind of drifting through life and am probably somewhat depressed as well. Do you have any ideas and suggestions on where and how I can meet some people, both females and available men?? I am able to ask for one or two Saturdays off per month and have Fridays off all the time. The guys who are interested are mostly blacks and Hispanics, but I am mainly attracted to Caucasian men, sometimes Hispanics. Are there ANY white men in their thirties or early forties who don't mind a full-figured woman that wears perfume and makeup and dresses well?? This is why I think I am going to have to settle for less than I want. Also, even tho I get tempted, I don't engage in casual sex and am not desperate, just really frustrated!!!!  I would like to settle down within five to six years if not sooner. My parents are getting older. I am not going to have my own children and that's okay but don't want to be alone forever.

I don't know how to answer this. I myself am 33 and have many of the same thoughts in my own life. The advice people give me is to get involved with a group that does something that interests me like a hobby or something. I personally don't drink so I never go to bars and most I talk to suggest against that as a place to meet women. You say you do closeup photos on the online personals. Whenever I see a personal with all closeup face pics and no body ones I just assume they are grossly overweight which isn't an unsolvable thing, but I don't think any guy wants information held back. I say just be yourself and be with people that enjoy what you enjoy.

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First and foremost if you read ahead you'll find I have a word limit on questions I'll read. This site is for short simple questions and it should not be for writing essays. Please also note I am unfamilar with most cultures outside of United Stated, UK, and France. Please respect my rules. I don't like rejecting questions. I will be the first to admit that I don't know everything about dating, women/men, and interpersonal connections. However I have learned quite a bit vicariously from other people's experiences. Think of my advice as a second opinion. I would be happy to answer all questions related to relationships, dating, self-confidence, and self-image that I can. I have struggled with all of those things and probably know better than most how to deal with all of them.

I hope more than anything that my advice and opinions will help give people perspective in their lives, and hopefully make them feel better about themselves and their situations. I will attempt answering questions for anyone of any age group or nationality. However it would be particularly useful to know the age of all people involved. It does make a difference towards the advice I give. Also not terribly familar with arranged marriages and situations in which the family can dictate the details of the relationship.

My Rules:
1). I can't answer questions that ask if a girl or guy likes the other (very difficult to know remotely)
2). No questions that are More Than 250 Words. I understand that problems can be complex, but there is a real limit to how much I can read and fully understand. Particularly if English isn't the questioner's native language.
3). Only questions from Americans, Canadians, British, and cute French women.
4). No questions that ask the meaning behind if a person sets their FB status to single, coupled, or private or if they still have a dating profile undeleted somewhere. If you're cyber snooping you're likely the issue.


I don't really have any specific experience in this area other than learning from other people's mistakes and a few of my own, and whatever I've learned as a psychology major.

B.S. Psychology

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