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General Dating Questions/Stupid woman at the workplace


Hello Dr. Neder,

I am 40 and very fit and athletic for my age. At the workplace, there is one woman who really wants to fight me. She is 20 years old and not as educated as I am and she is not very attractive but wears very nice makeup and has very nice hair and clothes. However she is a college graduate and scored very high on IQ tests. She is wealthy, married to a rich successful handsome man and has beautiful children, drives a nice expensive luxury sports car and lives in a mansion. I do not have any of those things and am single, never married. I am a middle class regular gal. But this 20 year old really wants to challenge me for some irrational reason. She goes absolutely crazy and goes ballistic when I walk by. When I walk by talking on my cell phone, and I'm not even looking at her, her entire body has convulsions and seizures, she can't stand to be in the same room as me. She complains about everything I do. Once she went into an explosive screaming tirade all by herself for about 5 minutes about something I had slacked off in, she backed me into the corner and went nuts screaming and yelling, and everyone else in the company smirked and laughed. Every time I walk by, she goes crazy all by herself.

She is very wealthy and high class and is a college grad with an engineering degree so she should be reasonably smart if she is a math/science person, yet acts like those nutty people on the Jerry Springer shows tossing their head around and lifting up their finger to tell people off like the way ghetto girls do. I don't know what to say.

At 40, I have no idea how to deal with a 20 year old who wants to fight me. And I'm not even doing anything, she is going ballistic all by herself when I'm walking by not even talking to her or looking at her. And she fights me for things that don't even make sense, there is nothing to fight about, she just makes stuff up, like if I eat one more slice of pizza at work pizza parties than everyone else, she goes ballistic screaming about that, and tells everyone I hog things. Since she is complaining so much about me eating 1 extra slice of pizza and taking 1 extra napkin, everyone is starting to notice I really do those petty things no one else would care about, and now they all believe her too. So stupid.

How do I deal with a stupid girl half my age that is constantly threatening to fight me?

Oh and she is 5'0" tall and I am 6'0" so I tower over her so it's hard for me not to laugh, but it is bothering me since she is becoming annoying.

I think this is a common situation in life. Intimidation, jealous of other's success, bad people jealous of good happy honest people who are hardworking and get promotions, etc.

But I'm not sure how to deal with these ignorant hyenas. I have been laughing at her and rolling my eyes a lot but ignoring doesn't stop the pest of course.

Oh and I tried to talk to her? And she ran screaming into the room and locked the door behind her.

Well I don't know what to say.

And yes a 20 year old guy did this once to me too...that situation was REALLY weird. From a woman doing it to another woman is expected, when a man does it to a much older woman, that's just even weirder. But this girl is really weird because she is 20 years younger than me so it all just seems silly.

I think you intended for your message to be sent to another expert (Dr. Neder). I don't really specialize in workplace issues, but my recommendation would be for you to go to your human resources department and tell them what is going on. It sounds like the interaction with this woman could potentially lead to a hostile work environment. Hopefully if you can talk to the people in HR they can help you reach a resolution.

If your office is small and you do not have a human resources department, try talking to your supervisor about the issue. Don't refer to this woman as a "stupid woman" as it will discredit you. Try to keep your opinions and emotions out of the conversation. Just note the actions and comments she has made in a factual way and ask for your supervisor's advice in dealing with the issue.

Wish you the best of luck,

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I can answer questions related to "the chase"--whether to be patient or more assertive. I can answer questions regarding break-ups and moving on. I can answer questions related to flirting and meeting new people as well as how to inspire them to call you.


I have much personal experience as well as often play the role of matchmaker and advice-giver with many of my friends. I took several classes related to gender relations in college, giving me a solid perspective on communication between couples and what it means.

My writing has appeared on a website and various anthologies.

Graduated with a BA from Villanova University.

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