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General Dating Questions/I cheated on my boyfriend, should I tell him?

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I'm studying towards a degree at the moment so I moved away from home, where I got a boyfriend. We've been dating for about four months now and it's getting pretty serious: I've never felt this way about anyone else before and we both genuinely think we love each other.

About a year ago while I was still living at home I met this amazing guy and we were together for about three months: it was my first proper relationship and I really liked him, but we had to end things because he moved away. I moved away from home a few months later and for quite a while still liked the guy, still thought about him. In October I saw him again when I visited home and I ended up sleeping with him = feelings came back again. In November I met my new boyfriend but I kept thinking about my ex a little, which I know is wrong. I didn't want to go back to him, but I did miss him. It sounds silly but we did get on really well together, and I missed talking to him.

So this weekend I went home, went out with my friends, got really drunk and ended up calling my ex. I went back to his for a chat, and woke up the next morning in his bed.

I do feel bad about it. But, honestly, I feel a lot better now. I know that I don't have any feelings for my ex, and that my new boyfriend really is perfect for me and better than him, and I feel as though my feelings for my new boyfriend have intensified and I know I really do love him. I know I shouldn't have cheated, but I feel like I've finally got closure on that relationship. I know if I tell my boyfriend we'll probably break up, but I feel bad about it. So what should I do?

Answer
Cleopatra Isis E. Integrated Master Life Coach www.ClearlyLively.com
Cleopatra Isis E. Inte  
Hello Charlotte, hope you're having a good Monday so far. No you don't sound silly at all, try not to be hard on yourself. You're only human. I understand that guilt is a strong thing to shake off, but its not going to make the circumstances better.

Okay, so you saw your ex, hook up, then realize your boyfriend is the one you want to be with instead. There are definite pro's to that because it gives you the ability to move on. Sometimes it takes an infidelity to know exactly what you want, and how much a person means to you. I am not saying its the best way to figure it out, but its a live and learn sort of thing.

The hard part:
Depending on how your boyfriend reacts, If you decide to tell your tell him what happened then yes, it can potentially break the two of you up. On the flip-side, you guys work on things, but it will take time to build back the trust he had in you. Either way its a hard choice to make.

My advice Charlotte is to let him know you had contact with your ex. If you choose to omit some things than that's okay too. Sometimes too many details cause more harm than good. Good luck with everything, hope this helps.


Cleopatra Isis E.
Integrated Master Life Coach
www.ClearlyLively.com  

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Cleopatra Jade

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I can answer any question! As a Integrated Master Life coach I help clients overcome personal challenges with my expert advice (Dating, family, self-management, Personal development, stuck emotions, stress, relationships of all kinds, romantic, family or friendships.

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Cleopatra Jade is the name traveling and enjoying life to the fullest is my game. -From NY, now living in the fabulous Las Vegas! -Photo blogging, pictures of life and scenery are my thing, so I suppose I don't need to get a hobby! -Intuitive Counselor since 2005- Certified Master Life Coach in 2013, specializing in relationship advice. -Uber & UberEats Brand Influencer/Ambassador, getting the word out about how much of an amazing company Uber is for their outstanding ride services and UberEats food delivery. I'm a candid chick with a zany/ sarcastic sense of humor, who enjoys making people laugh and having a great time- because it's what's needed in this crazy world. In other words, I am all about humor and honesty. I appreciate genuine and people who pull no punches because it lets everyone know where they stand in your life and vice versa. It's how I approach life, business, and the way I work with my clients. I believe that you can be a professional but still be yourself and let your hair down; there's no need to be a stiff shirt, just to give the immpression of being a business person- be authentic. My quote since college: "Why is there a pill for everything else and not the "self's" you know self-awareness, self-righteous, the self-absorb and self-diluted?! Think about it; this would cure most pain in the asses." -Cleopatra

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Trained and Certified in the following : A.A.S Psychology -Master Life Coaching -Life Coaching -Relationship workshop Facilitator -Happiness Coaching -Life purpose Coaching -Life Goal Success Coaching -Nero-linguistic programing, -Intuitive counseling -Reiki healing.." -Cleopatra

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