General Dating Questions/confused?



I was in a relationship about 5 years ago that ended badly.

I wasn't the same person during that period and after it.

I had major trust issues during that relationship that were only made worse when the guy started cheating and lying to me and when he admitted that he was using me all along.

I decided after that fiasco that i would not date again because of the fear of that happening again and because of my trust issues.

That all changed when I found someone special.  His name is AJ. :)

He's a softy who makes me smile and is just mega adorable.

We've been on and off for about a month and a half because of my trust issues and because i don't like the fact that he works so much.

AJ works from 2:00pm to 12:00am and well i'm damn near sleepy by then.

I'm happy that he's working toward a promotion but i'm really pissed off that he doesn't get to spend much time with me.

I'm supposed to be supportive but i come off as vindictive and somewhat shallow.

Oh there's that little part about me being black and him being white.       He's already told me that his father is the racist in the family and that i should be preparing for that.

I'm just crazy about AJ and there are some days when i just can't envision my life without him.

This guy is hardworking,  funny,  family orientated(sp?) and just has a all around good heart.

He's had a hard life just like I have but he would give you the shirt off of his back.

I just don't want to lose him and i'm really scared that I already have.

I'm going to start therapy tomorrow for the first time in years to work on my trust issues and to get back on my medicine.

I have bipolar disorder and I haven't told AJ yet.     I don't know how to explain that one without possibly freaking him out.

I keep trying to get him to leave me because i don't want to break his heart but he wants to be with me and i don't have the heart to just leave him.

I've even decided to enroll in nursing school so that i never can leech off of him and so that i'll have the money to be able to make some sort of a life with him.

The guy wanted to spend his tax refund on me and that just broke my heart.    I couldn't let him do that.

I just want to know how can i prove to AJ that he's beginning to mean something to me.  

How do I show him that I don't want to be without him?  How do I fight for my relationship?

I know that I'm rushing things a bit but this is just the kind of guy that you don't let get away.

He's the first person in years that actually sees me for who I am and not whatever wants me to be.      I just can't lose him.

Cleopatra Isis E. Integrated Master Life Coach
Cleopatra Isis E. Inte  
Hello Ashlyna, hope you're having a good day so far.

I can only answer a bit of your question because this is somewhat out of my realm with regards to-bipolar disorder. I feel like learning how to deal with insecurities is better resolved in sessions, not by a quick answer. Also, working through this needs to be taken care of in sessions over the phone, or face-to-face. This sort of thing is a process and some foot work to get where you need to be. Luckily, you are seeing a therapist who can set up a plan of action. I feel it is good you are working on yourself, and will be seeing someone that can help you cope better with regards to-being insecure in relationships.

It's a pretty awesome thing when you find love again, after disappointment.
Your boyfriend sounds as though you have a great guy who loves you, so you don't need to fight for a relationship that is already there. Try not to over complicate things, the way to show him is be yourself. Show him you love him by doing little things for him, whether its cooking dinner or surprising him with his favorite colon. As far as his racist dad goes, it sounds like your boyfriend has your back. I suggest judging this situation with his dad on a case, by case-basis.

Cleopatra Isis E.
Integrated Master Life Coach  

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Cleopatra Jade


I can answer any question! As a Integrated Master Life coach I help clients overcome personal challenges with my expert advice (Dating, family, self-management, Personal development, stuck emotions, stress, relationships of all kinds, romantic, family or friendships.


Cleopatra Jade is the name traveling and enjoying life to the fullest is my game. -From NY, now living in the fabulous Las Vegas! -Photo blogging, pictures of life and scenery are my thing, so I suppose I don't need to get a hobby! -Intuitive Counselor since 2005- Certified Master Life Coach in 2013, specializing in relationship advice. -Uber & UberEats Brand Influencer/Ambassador, getting the word out about how much of an amazing company Uber is for their outstanding ride services and UberEats food delivery. I'm a candid chick with a zany/ sarcastic sense of humor, who enjoys making people laugh and having a great time- because it's what's needed in this crazy world. In other words, I am all about humor and honesty. I appreciate genuine and people who pull no punches because it lets everyone know where they stand in your life and vice versa. It's how I approach life, business, and the way I work with my clients. I believe that you can be a professional but still be yourself and let your hair down; there's no need to be a stiff shirt, just to give the immpression of being a business person- be authentic. My quote since college: "Why is there a pill for everything else and not the "self's" you know self-awareness, self-righteous, the self-absorb and self-diluted?! Think about it; this would cure most pain in the asses." -Cleopatra



Trained and Certified in the following : A.A.S Psychology -Master Life Coaching -Life Coaching -Relationship workshop Facilitator -Happiness Coaching -Life purpose Coaching -Life Goal Success Coaching -Nero-linguistic programing, -Intuitive counseling -Reiki healing.." -Cleopatra

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