General Dating Questions/Making the next move
My name is Nick. I am 35 years old and would say relatively inexperienced in relationships. I met a 31 year old girl online about 2 months ago. We spent the first few weeks chatting, eventually exchanging numbers and messaging, until meeting. We have been exchanging messages regularly daily, talk on the phone about 2 times a week, and have been seeing each other 1-2 times on the weekends.
We seem to have similar personalities, values, and interests, and I really feel like she could be the one. We have even discussed meeting each others parents, and hanging out together in future months. Unfortunately, we do have busy schedules during the week, but both find time to see each other during the weekend.
At this point, I feel like we have not really progressed forward. Two things that have been challenging are that she does spend a lot of time with her parents (only child), and likes to go to sleep and wake up early. This means that many of our dates seem to start and end earlier in the evening, and we are not able to spend as much time as I would like.
My question is about asking or doing something to move this forward. Should I talk to her about how she feels, perhaps try to plan a day to spend together, or just go ahead and make a move and see how she reacts.
Hope you had a nice weekend. Thanks for taking your time to read.
ANSWER: Good Morning Nick, hope you're having a good day so far. It really sounds like you guys are a match. If your wanting to take this relationship further than I suggest talking to her. Most woman want confirmation that the two of you are in a relationship. I would plan a nice day of hanging out "Date",that way you're nice and relaxed when you guys talk. Make it an easy-breezy date with some romantic undertones-then tell her how you feel. This will help the both of you know where you stand in the relationship plus, open up more quality time between you two. Hope this helps.
Cleopatra Isis E.
Integrated Master Life Coach
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
Thank you for the advice. A few situations have developed over the past month and I have become a little confused.
I took her out and told her how I felt. Her response had two points. First, I mentioned on a previous date that if my parents did not like someone, even though it is still my choice, I would have some considerations. This made her "a little scared," but I assumed she would have similar values. Second, she wanted to take things slow.
We went out a couple times after, and then lunch on her birthday (3 weeks ago). I gave her a card saying things like I enjoyed being with her and was excited to learn more about her. That weekend she went on a trip with some friends. The next weekend she was sick. I offered to bring her some things (like soup) but she declined. This past week, when I asked her about going out, she said she "might" be free for dinner Saturday, but would let me know. On Saturday, I messaged her around noon to see what was happening. At 5pm she finally got back to me saying she got a last minute invite to a basketball game (about 1.5 hours away by plane). I was a little upset because I felt she could have told me about this earlier, rather than keeping me waiting.
In summary, we have not seen each other for 3 weeks. I have called around 4-5 times and she has only returned once (but I missed it). We still text daily, but definitely fewer than before the trip.
This coming weekend, she is doing a performance at a fair. Unfortunately, I am working and will miss it, but she mentioned previously maybe meeting later for dinner with her parents.
My questions are about continuing from here. Was I over-reacting when she did not get back to me this past Saturday. What happens if she cancels or changes her mind last minute for this weekend?
Thanks again for your time. Have a nice week
Good Morning nick, hope you're having a great Monday so far. I don't feel you were overreacting about her, not getting back to you considering how long that took. A few hours I can understand, but almost 5 hours is a bit sketchy, not to mention rude.
Although, the two of you have chemistry I honestly think this girl has reservations about you guys, and if it should be a relationship, or not. Women, much like men will become wishy-washy when they are unsure about a situation, and that's what I feel is happening here. As far as her possibly canceling this next weekend I would cross that bridge if it comes. And by cross that bridge, I mean if she doesn't cancel go from there, but know it will go very slow. If she cancels I would move forward, and leave your dating options open Nick, for a girl who isn't going to be so wishy-washy.
Cleopatra Isis E.
Integrated Master Life Coach