General Dating Questions/Confusing Situation


I'm 17 almost 18 year old boy and still in a junior high school and right now i like a girl (a senior) who already has a boy friend.Were both in band so we have seen each other about every day since my freshman year. Now i have like this girl for about 2 years now and have know her for 3 years.For The first year i meat her she would talk to me without me coming up to her and joke around with me and tease me and my friend.  I would make fun of her playfully once in a while but never really thought  much about it at first but slowly i gained some chemistry towards her and then  summer came. and out of the blue she sends me a text without me giving her my number beforehand that she got from her mom ( my mom was friends with hers.) And we texted all summer and played a game called 20 questions to get to know each other without being awkward. Then band camp starts and we stop texting for 2 weeks and mom then decides without telling me to invite her and her family over to my to my th16 birthday and we hangout with her and her 2year younger sister who i will just call M. So we hang out and watch movies and play and i promise to give her saxophone lessons so she could do jazz band. This happens for the next two weekends after my birthday and on the 3rd one its pool party at one of my family friends house and we the same thing except for swimming and at the end were alone and she and me are playing and i sorta ask her if she likes my friend more then me and she tells me im more different/special from him. At the end of these 3 weeks i have finally accepted my feelings for her. We didn't talk as much after that and i returned to my old ways of just small side conversations once in awhile because of band keeping us busy and by late season of fall she breaks up with her first boy friend after 6 months of relationship and  I said to my self  i was going to wait a month before asking her to give her time. 2 weeks later she starts dating another guy and hasn't stop since. then for another few months past nothing major happens and then she suddenly wants to do saxophone lessons with me and i help her with that and we start talking again little more often. Before Christmas breaks starts i get her and her younger sister a bracelet the says their name and their instrument on each side. by late winter i  learned to ice skate  so invited them to come with me one day with my sister and we hangout and i teach her how to skate.
For the rest of the year we hangout once in awhile at my house. Now during this time i learn slowly of how her best friend (Close friend of mine) and her fight a lot and he slowing talking with her sister nothings happens major yet. My Birthday comes around again and they invite me to a lake to hang out at we do play and have chicken fights and everything. She get jealousy when i hang with M and then M gets annoyed with only hang out with her. Marching band begins again and WWIII starts Her/my best friend starts dating her sister and He starts telling me about the problem and then when she finds out she does the same, So i have to give advice to both without telling them what already know what the other thinking. I just tell them both honest answers and hope i don't end either friendship. During one competition she asked me to ride the bus with her and i said yes then later she says that im going to be her back up plan and then apologies right afterwards. He rides with her on that ride after wards. At the competition some guy ask her who she would date if s she didn't have a boy friend and she tells him it would be her best friend and tells me that i know who that is. then next day he declares there friendship dead she explodes and sends me all these sad texts about feeling betrayed by her best friend. Needless to say i rode with he on every bus ride after including long 8 hour ones. After i help her deal with this drama for next 2 months she sends me text that she loves me like a brother. I cry at this a little since put 1 half years effort in getting her to like me. I know its selfish. After that we text a little bit and then nothing. then sends me text randomly every couple if weeks just to talk and then another some other day to rant about her sister and EX best friend. spring has come and the best friend relation ship with her sister not working out. (Neither of the sisters are aware of this fact) and he trying to heal old wounds she gets pisst because she finally getting over it and rants about it to me. Now i feel a slowly losing of feeling after 2years (yes single the whole time but not ignoring all girls)and the fact that she has have the same boy friend for a year and half and has weird feelings about her EX best friend.

Here my Question should i give up and just be friends at his point or should i still keep hope that i can get her. Its not like im only guy that likes her.There is 6 others im just closer to her then those 6.and this isn't every thing just the Major and sub things that have happened. Sorry for all the background info and thanks for your time.

Hi Luke,

I appreciate you reaching out for help, especially at such a young age. You cannot get a handle on girls soon enough let me tell you. I am going to keep this short and sweet. You are trapped in the friend zone with this girl, and any further efforts to win her over romantically will be a complete waste of your time. Never put all your efforts into one girl unless she is your girlfriend. Otherwise, you are just spinning your wheels. Go find a girl who wants to date you and forget about all this drama. I wish you luck my friend.  

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Mike Lamb


My expertise is in answering questions from men about dating women. I have a wealth of knowledge pertaining to nearly all facets of the dating world today. We all know that there are ways to be successful in dating, but what are they? I can answer that for you. I want to teach you how to find not just any woman who will date you, but the RIGHT woman who has long-term potential for a healthy relationship. That starts with how you act and treat women in the very beginning of the dating stages. I can teach how to get there and stay there for the duration of the relationship, on into marriage if that's where it leads. My aim is to teach you to respect yourselves as men first, to be gentlemen, and to change your life for the better. That is my passion. I want to support all good men in successful dating practices. I am not here to offer pick-up techniques or to help you get women into bed. My purpose is more noble than that. I cannot answer questions pertaining to psychology or psychological problems as these would best be addressed by a licensed mental health counselor.


For over a decade, I have dedicated myself to becoming a better man and to understanding women. This has led me to all sorts of seminars, training programs, books, etc. There is a wealth of information out there, but how much of it really is useful in real-world application? I have narrowed down the best and most-relevant information for men as it pertains to dating. This is information I have tested and learned in the real world from personal experiences and also gathered from the personal experiences of those closest to me.

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