General Dating Questions/Is this guy worth pursuing?
Hi, I recently (recently being the last three weeks) have been noticing this guy at school. I have no idea why but as soon as I saw him something clicked in my brain. I have no idea why but it happened. I have already decided that I will not ask him out myself because I don't want to make the first move. How do I get him to notice me more or even ask me out? Also, once that happens (if he does) how do I know if it is worth it to continue with him?
Today you see a lot of articles (directed specifically towards women) about how to flirt. They offer all sorts of ideas on "getting his attention". I'm sorry to tell you, these articles help make many women feel better, but they simply don't work. Here's why: men don't know you're flirting. No, they don't.
Things like making eye contact and smiling help *IF* you have some other contact, but they are not the answer by themselves. Unfortunately if you really want to get to know this guy you're going to have to make some approach happen somewhere. That's just the way it is as most guys (especially at your age) just don't know how to do this.
The good news is this: it's easy. Damned easy!
In fact, girls have many more ways of breaking the ice - without even being overt about it - than guys do!
Think of it like ordering a pizza. The pizza by itself isn't going to know you're hungry. You have to pick up the phone. Fortunately, that's a low-risk answer to getting a pizza right? As well, you have to actually open the door. The delivery guy isn't going to slide the pizza under it! Thus, if you don't want to starve, you're going to have to do SOME work, but this really isn't "heavy lifting" at all. In fact, it's easy.
Here's what you do:
The very next time you see him in the hallways at school or outside or inside of class, just say, "Hey!". Then, shoot him a sweet smile and hold it for just a moment or so longer than you would a stranger.
That's it! Can you do that much? Of course you can.
What that does is to break the ice and to give him the idea that you're not going to bite his head off he if approaches you. It's incredibly simple and low, Low, LOW risk!
Once the ice is broken see what he does. Maybe he'll engage you in conversation. Maybe he'll pick up the ball next time. Or, you may need to do it a few times more. If he absolutely doesn't pick things up, he's either no interested or so clueless as to be way more work than you want to invest.
Based on what happens, you'll then be able to see if he's worth more or not. Then, it comes down to your personal values and what you're looking for.
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”