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General Dating Questions/Men keep disappearing on me



I recently had this short term hookup which I knew it was going to be temporary from the beginning and it didn't end up as I expected. Here's the story:

We met on tinder (kind of a dating app) back in December when he was travelling through my country, we started talking and it turns out he was from a city I was planning to visit a few months later. We never got to meet back then but we kept in touch, became friends on Facebook and exchanged a few messages.

I went on vacation to the city he lives in and the day came when I finally met him and it was an amazing night! I thought we had good conversation, got drunk, met some of his friends and really had fun, we ended the night kissing a whole lot when he walked me back to my place.

Next day he texted me inviting me to a concert which of course I accepted.
We went to the concert and again ended up having a great time. This time I think we really started to get to know each other a little more in each conversation, unlike the first night were we really where just having fun.

Afterwards we went back to his place to hang out for a while and we were just laying in the bed talking and laughing and kissing occasionally. I must admit I was willing to go all the way with him but I felt there was something holding him back, I felt he kind of restrained himself. I remember thinking that any other guy from where I'm from would have jumped at the opportunity right away. Instead he didn't, we never really got to far, we just fell asleep cuddling all night.

Next morning it was a Saturday and just a couple of days before I left. I asked him if I'd see him again and he said of course I would, he had this thing with a friend earlier but that he'd text me as soon as its over so we could just hang out later.
We said goodbye with a kiss and that is the last time I heard from him.

He never texted at all the rest of the time I was there, I really didn't want to put any pressure on him and figured he'd text eventually, if not only to say goodbye, but he never did.
I only met this guy twice and felt I didn't have the right to confront him with this so I decided to leave it be. When I got home I texted him "thank you for everything, I had a great time. Take good care" and hours later que replied "Safe travels, it was good to see you! hope to see you again either at your town or mine".

To be honest I was not expecting anything serious, it was the opposite, for me it was a great vacation hook up and I was just happy that it was with such a good guy. He was sweet and cute kind of person and I really felt there was a strong mutual attraction.
I also think we could've ended things differently.

I don't understand if it's something I did, I honestly thought there was a lot of reciprocity and that we both understood it was just a temporary thing. I get it when guys are scared to be mixed up in something more serious, but in this situation it was actually a pretty safe bet, no strings attached at all.

Although I knew from the beginning, even before I met him, this could not prosper on the long run, I though it was a nice experience to remember, you know? Like a good story from a trip. I wanted to keep in touch also,  but I guess that won't be happening either, he kind of just acted like nothing ever happened.

The reason I want answers is because it's not the first time this has happened to me, I'm wondering if I'm sending out the wrong signals or something. First he seemed to be really interested and then nothing at. I don't know, maybe I'm just putting a lot of though into this, maybe he wasn't so interested and attracted to me as I though he was.

What are your thoughts?

one thing i've learned is most times when never get to know the REAL reasons why people act as they do--they either give NO reason, or some watered down version of the truth; eventually you begin to realize that the reasons make no difference, that the result is the same no matter; it's not about you; certainly you can conclude he wasn't as into it as you, and move on..

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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