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General Dating Questions/The Root of All Evil: Money


My girlfriend and I have been dating for 9 months and living together for 2 months (I'm 22, she's 21). Our relationship has been pretty solid for the most part but recently it's been a frequent struggle for us to get on the same page when it comes to money. As a young couple, we want to do a lot of things like travel, take vacations, buy nice things, etc. But to do those things, we need money. So my girlfriend agreed to get a part time job while she goes to nursing school and I agreed to help her pay for a car so she can get to and from class/work without depending on anyone for rides. We sat down one day and figured out how much money we would need for things we wanted to do/buy. And even though I'm serving as an active duty military member, I went out of my way to get a second job in order to help get rid of bills and loans. Now, I pay all of the bills for my house, my car note, half of her car note, gas for both of our cars, my phone bill and for groceries. I also pay for outings, like the movies, and most small expenses that we encounter on a day to day basis. She only has to pay for her schooling ($40 a month) and half of her phone bill ($25 a month). Her parents pay the rest of those two bills. So even though I make way more than she does, at the end of the day, more money stays in her bank account. Or at least it should. The arguments come when she wants to spend what's left of her money on $300 hair appointments, nails, newer versions of her smart phone, accessories for her car, clothes and a $400 purse (fortunately, I talked her out of the purse). But today, I was budgeting the grocery money when she decided to drop the fact that she just bought 2 tickets for her and her best friend to go to a rave next month.
This is where my question comes in: am I within my rights to get upset with my girlfriend when she blows her money on unnecessary things? Because technically, it is her money and I don't mind if she wants to buy all of those things for herself. But at the same time I feel like we made a plan for both of us. And I'm going above and beyond my duties in this relationship. Sadly, I almost feel as if she's not mature enough to see that. While our goals sounded good on paper, I don't think she's looking past what she wants at the end of the day. Is there a way to get her to see things differently? Am I overreacting? Is there a possible middle-ground for us?
Thank you for reading.

Money always seems to be an issue in relationships. Particularly in the minority of cases when the woman has the balls to want to spend $400 on a purse. lol. This is only my opinion but I think you should first talk to her about how her excessive leasure spending makes you feel and if no resolution can be met just stick her with more liability for things that she uses such as her phone and her car.

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First and foremost if you read ahead you'll find I have a word limit on questions I'll read. This site is for short simple questions and it should not be for writing essays. Please also note I am unfamilar with most cultures outside of United Stated, UK, and France. Please respect my rules. I don't like rejecting questions. I will be the first to admit that I don't know everything about dating, women/men, and interpersonal connections. However I have learned quite a bit vicariously from other people's experiences. Think of my advice as a second opinion. I would be happy to answer all questions related to relationships, dating, self-confidence, and self-image that I can. I have struggled with all of those things and probably know better than most how to deal with all of them.

I hope more than anything that my advice and opinions will help give people perspective in their lives, and hopefully make them feel better about themselves and their situations. I will attempt answering questions for anyone of any age group or nationality. However it would be particularly useful to know the age of all people involved. It does make a difference towards the advice I give. Also not terribly familar with arranged marriages and situations in which the family can dictate the details of the relationship.

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I don't really have any specific experience in this area other than learning from other people's mistakes and a few of my own, and whatever I've learned as a psychology major.

B.S. Psychology

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