General Dating Questions/Some chicks.


I want your thoughts on Girl1 and Girl2

Girl 1....I met this girl at school one day. I'm 22 years old and she is 30. Even though the age difference is seven years, we had a lot of chemistry and so much in common. As we sat together she was showing sings of interest; she laughed loudly at a lot of things I said even when they weren't funny, and we talked for about an hour nonstop and she would engage me in conversation and gave me strong eye contact. I could tell she enjoyed my company. As she got up to leave, she asked me to walk with her and she even appologized for doing so. No offense was taken, of course. So as we were walking I asked her when she was free? She laughed and said, for what? I said "for a date". She laughed and made some excuses like, "I'm too old for you", and "I don't know, maybe we should be friends". I focused on her actions and not her words and she was still facing me, but I could tell she had some worries. It seems here that she feels under pressure, What happened? Is this general female insecurity/ congruency testing? She also said something else but I cannot remember what she said. Either way I did not let those excuses fade me and I held my ground, I even told her "we have good chemistry", and I even threw out the caveat, "I don't believe in sex before marriage just so you know. thats just how I roll.", however I did not say this to convince her, I was saying these things to communicate my boundaries. In response to the "chemistry" comment, she laughed and I finally asked for her number. My phone was dead at the time so she volunteerd to write it down on a piece of paper instead. I waited a few days until I texted her and then I sent her a  greeting text. She took 40 minutes to reply saying "Hey, whats up!?" I didn't respond back until about 1 hr 1/2 later and I sent a text asking when she was free. This was at  10 PM, though it is the next day now, I have yet to hear back from her. This must mean that she isn't all that interested in me, but when I was with her it seemed that attraction was written all over her face! I ran into her a day later but she told me she didn't have time to talk. The day after that she sent me a text saying "Hey, how are you?" I texted back "good, how are you"? and she answered. I decided to cut to the chase and ask her when she was "free to get together". She responded by saying, "I'm really busy right now, but I'll let you know." This must mean she's just blowing me off. Even if she was busy she would find time if she was interested enough. Oh well.

Girl 2... I appraoched this girl at school, we chatted for a bit and then I parted ways with her by kissing her hand. Fast forward about 1 month latter I ran into her again and she was on the computer doing a project. When I approached her I said "Hey your the girl who..." She responded by mentioning that She has the same name as my niece. I told her, "close, she's actually my cousin I'm surprised you remember that though"! (good sign of interest,means I made a lasting first impression). Basically I teased and bantered with her, wasn't afraid to speak my own opinons or beliefs of things, and wasn't afraid to disagree with her. If I felt she wasn't listening, I playfully scolded her and she became appologetic about it and said "I'm listening"(good sign of interest). Granted she tested a lot, but gave in very quickly. For example, at the end of our interaction when I realized I was late to class I told her playfully, "Look what you did, you made me late to class, but you can make it up to me by giving me your number." Her(looking at me): "but don't you want my facebook info?" Me:"No I want your number". Her: (gives number). Me: "Alirght, don't expect a text from me, I will call you sometime next week to take you out". Her: "I can already feel the anticipation."(Yes she did actually say that). I plan on waiting one week until I contact her. What are your thoughts?


Things I've learned about dates(or hangouts).....

Have something planned.

notice cues from girl when she's ready to kiss you.

Don't talk about anything negative.

Nothing expensive(in fact I'll make girls pay for what they order).

do not talk about the next date, or exes.

Wait 5-7 days until next contact.

Is there anything I'm missing here, or is anything off about dating etiqquete?

Great questions.
With regard to girl 1: the main mistake was labeling it a "date". You don't need to do that. You invite her to meet and go from there without worry about how you call it. This will avoid any pressure of her trying to explain or rationalize what's going to happen between the two of you.  
The other thing - stop asking when the girl is free. Doesn't it matter when you are free to. Instead, suggest specific time and place to meet 1-3 days ahead.   

With regard to girl 2: good job for the most part, except I would not tell the girl you are going to call her instead of texting. Instead, surprise her by calling her and not texting. Also, I would not use the "take you out" language. You are young. You are meeting her to get to know her/spend time with her. You are not "taking her out".  

Lastly, I am not a fan of the five day rule and I don't think it's going to work this day and age. For more detail on this, please look at our forum entry here:



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