Me and my boyfriend have been dating since November 2013 so about 1 yr and a half. Our situation is different than most couples because we have lived together 1 yr and 2 months already. I'm 23 and he's 28. He says he wants to marry me eventually and have kids with me but in few years. He says he wants to be making at least x amount of money first. I don't understand why his salary effects him proposing. I even told him ring size and wedding size didn't matter. I also don't want to get married tomorrow. I just want the commitment. I'm worried that I'm cutting myself off in my prime years for a marriage that may never come. He expresses that clubs and bars no longer interest him or if I left him he wouldn't even bother dating. He got promoted and his job relocated him 1000+ miles away to California and I decided to go with him. I just don't understand why he has to be making a certain salary before getting married. We're dating and broke why can't we be married and broke? Do you think this is a legit excuse? Or is he just afraid to commit? The only excuse he can give me not to get married is money. I have a full time job so I don't depends on him and I help with bills and take care of my own expenses. I left everything I know and love for this man the least he can do his give me a ring and provide a stable environment for me. I don't feel I'm being unreasonable especially since he says he wants to marry me anyways. Is there anyway I can speed this process along? Or stress the importance without pushing him away?
Good morning Lelia, hope you're having a good Monday so far. I can understand your concerns, just wanting to know if this guy really serious? The answer is yes, he is very serious about you. It's sounds like your boyfriend is sure about where he see's his life going which is a good thing because, you are a major part of that plan. I feel like he is very sure about you otherwise he would not have moved in with you very early in the relationship. Men generally know when they met the right girl, and the fact that he moved you cross country with him speaks volumes - he is committed. I think age has no set way of how you should do things because if this is the love of your life than you are not wasting your time at 23.
The fact that he wants to make sure everything is in order before you guys get engage doesn't mean he wants to stall he just knows what he wants and when it should happen. I agree Leila, you don't have to be swimming in cash to get married, but it is always good to have your finances in order beforehand. I don't feel you could get him to do it faster Leila because this guy sounds like he does things when is ready. Also, you don't want to push things because it can strain your relationship. let I say enjoy your life that sharing with him, be in the moment, and let things happen naturally. When purposes it will be amazing and worth the time you guys waited to make it official.
Cleopatra Isis E.
Integrated Master Life Coach
I can answer any question! As a Integrated Master Life coach I help clients overcome personal challenges with my expert advice (Dating, family, self-management, Personal development, stuck emotions, stress, relationships of all kinds, romantic, family or friendships.
Cleopatra Jade is the name traveling and enjoying life to the fullest is my game.
-From NY, now living in the fabulous Las Vegas!
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-Intuitive Counselor since 2005- Certified Master Life Coach in 2013, specializing in relationship advice.
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I'm a candid chick with a zany/ sarcastic sense of humor, who enjoys making people laugh and having a great time- because it's what's needed in this crazy world.
In other words, I am all about humor and honesty. I appreciate genuine and people who pull no punches because it lets everyone know where they stand in your life and vice versa. It's how I approach life, business, and the way I work with my clients. I believe that you can be a professional but still be yourself and let your hair down; there's no need to be a stiff shirt, just to give the immpression of being a business person- be authentic.
My quote since college:
"Why is there a pill for everything else and not the "self's" you know self-awareness, self-righteous, the self-absorb and self-diluted?! Think about it; this would cure most pain in the asses."