General Dating Questions/Boys in high school


So I really like this guy a few year older than me in my school and I want to get to know him and talk to him but I can never get up enough courage too. I don't want him to think I'm weird or annoying if I say Hi cuz he doesn't really know me. Also I only see him in the hallway and he is usually with a group of friends or on his phone. Or not really paying attention to his surroundings.

The first time should I look at him and smile or should I say Hi, an when I say hi should I say Hi Mike or just Hi.

Also another question is, After I would say hi, Do boys think about these things like "wow she said hi she's cute", or "I wonder why she said hi". Because I know that if a boy said that too me I would be thinking about it later even if I look like I'm actin cool..

Please help and answer my questions

Hello Aubrey!

Making eye contact, holding it just a little too long, smiling softly and then looking down and to the side is one flirting moving you could try. The problem is; it's way too subtle and most guys simply don't get it.

Saying hello to him is by far a better move. You could walk by him for instance, get his eye contact, smile at him and say "hi" as you walk passed. That's a far better choice, but keep in mind you may need to do it more than once. Again, us guys aren't very subtle and often miss even this direct signals.

Boys often do think about those things. We get the idea we could approach you and then you girls do something dumb like throw up a bunch of roadblocks thinking that we'll just hurdle to get to you. No, we won't. Guys tend to respond to your LAST action. Thus, if you throw "go signals" one day and "stop signals" the next, we respond to the LAST thing you did. Not only does this confuse guys, it just tells them to absolutely avoid you. Aubrey, don't do that!

Instead, be open and engaging! Make it EASY for him to approach you and when he does, make it easy for him to ask you out. Talk to him and find out more while he does the same.

Dumb games like playing "hard to get" are something from the distant past. It's how your grandmother met your grandfather, but trust me: those things DO NOT work today. Don't play them. Be engaging and available.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Doctor of Philosophy

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