General Dating Questions/abuse?


Hello Azure,
I am a female in my late 20s. A gentleman I had been seeing for three months broke up with me last week. He said he couldn't see someone who knowingly lived in an abusive household. He caught me off guard with that reasoning. I live at my parents home at the moment with the intention of moving out August 1st. My father and I have had quite a few arguments and he is correct that my father is abusive.

The thing is, my Dad's behavior honestly doesn't affect me. He screams and has fits and I go on with my life while nudging him as much as possible to prioritize his happiness and break negative behavioral patterns. I made the logical decision to stop playing into his hand years ago.

Anyway, how do I know if it's actually true that his behavior *really* doesn't affect me? I don't think it does. But, having someone actually break up with me over that made me seriously consider that there may be more to it than I have thought about.

Also, why do you think he wouldsay this to me? I have never done anything abusive to him. I am to be a balanced person who loves others, yet maintains independence. I am tempted to believe he is making assumptions about me that have never been verified in reality.

his statements are either a cover up for the REAL reasons, or that's a pretty lame reason for breaking up with someone..the "more to it"probably has to do with the guy's reasons and not with you and father; unless the guy has actual EXAMPLES of how your relationship with the father affected HIM, he's clueless, and did you a favor by opting out; if you were more "affected" by it, there were be behavioral examples of unhealthy actions...without those, your plan to deal with your father sounds reasonable, and hopefully the guy is gone..

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Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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