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General Dating Questions/ideas for first date other than dinner and movie


Hi. I am in my thirties but have not dated in a very long time. I've always had problems with my self-confidence and I'm sure this is why it's been a long time. I am interested in someone I met several years ago and I believe he is as well. He asked a mutual friend about me a couple of weeks ago, but she didn't know my relationship status, so he found me on facebook and sent a poke. We haven't talked to each other in a long time or seen each other. We always had an interest in each other when we worked at the same company, but I never had the guts to talk to him for more than a few minutes, let alone ask him out!!  Now, I feel like I don't want to miss another opportunity with him and this could be our last chance-who knows?!  So my question is:  I am very, very, very nervous about going on the first few dates with him, if in fact we do.  Especially the very first one of course. I'm going to be so incredibly shy and nervous and don't really want to do the dinner and movie date. I feel like dinner or any kind of meal is way too much pressure and I want to feel as relaxed as possible and need some ideas as to what to do for these first few dates! I was thinking bowling would be fun and wouldn't be very nerve-wracking. By the way, he is a fairly shy guy as well. Not as shy as I am but still definitely shy-I do know that about him from talking to him previously and from what his friends have told me.  I just don't want to go to dinner right away!  Please give me some ideas for what we could do to get to know each other without there being so much pressure on us.  Also, I am not athletic at all, so no athletics, please!   Other than that, I am open to reasonable suggestions. If you could suggest several ideas that would be appreciated!  Thank you!  (We live in a small to medium size city-about 150,000.) We don't have major sports teams or big-name performers here.

Hello, Holley. The best way to start is a good old coffee and perhaps a walk and a nice area/park.
It's important that you don't treat it as matter of life and death as that will only make things harder on both of you. Instead, have a normal conversation. Break the ice with talking about the times when you worked together and perhaps laughing at something and then go from there.
You don't have to try to sweep him off his feet during the first hour of you talking to each other and he shouldn't try to do that either.

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