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General Dating Questions/Shy and intimidated or not intrested


Hi, so I have been talkin to this guy recently and he seems to be into me. He asked my friend for my number an started texting me even though I wish we met in person. He seemed drunk at te times we texted and he was into me and then during the day we don't really talk at all like he doesn't talk to me and I don't text him.

So he has never had a girlfriend for all I know, and never asked anyone to prom or homecoming etc. but he isn't a virgin and he likes to party so I've been told. He is really nice but he seems pretty quiet. I don't see him talking to people that much but he has friends.

I have seen him a few times in person since we started texting but we kinda kept our distance from eachother. It's not like he was avoiding me and I wasn't avoiding him we were just doing our own things. I think he noticed me cuz the events we went to were very small but we never talked.

When ever I'm around him it seems like he looks the other way or looks down at the ground but not at me. I do find him looking at me though as I can sorta see through his sunglasses an the way he turns his head.

He hasn't made an effort to talk to me in person but I don't know if I'm making myself approachable. He seems to be pretty shy. He flirted with me and wanted to hang out over text when he was drunk but I haven't really asked him to hang out when he's not drunk. It kinda seems like he doesn't remember that we even talked. I would like to go out and get to know him in person but I think hanging out alone is too much for talkin the first time in person.

I'm trying to figure out if he's just shy or intimidated, or he's just not intrested?

Please help!

Hello Annalaurenne!

This is all guesswork, he/she said, speculation.... If you are just guessing at all these facts, how am I supposed to tell you anything about it? It'd only be a guess too and a worse one than yours since you have much more information about all of this than I do!

All this texting is doing exactly what it's designed to do - keep you completely away from each other so you'll NEVER know what's real and what's not. Good job if that's your goal!

You want him to do/be/act/say all the right things, but you don't want to have to do any of that yourself. Do you see the problem here?

Look: you have limited time to put something together here. The more time you continue to play with this the more likely it's going to be that he'll just give up completely and this will all be done - even the texting will stop. Is that what you want?

Further, what's wrong with him thinking that you're interested in him? It's not some crime to be attracted to someone. Go talk to him already! STOP using technology to flirt - and to keep you from having what you want.

The very next time you see him walk right up and say, "So, when are we going to hang out? I'm available next weekend".

Someone has to get things moving here and if it's not him, it'd better be you.

DO IT!!!

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Doctor of Philosophy

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