You are here:

General Dating Questions/Texting and talking to boys


So I like this boy but I had never talked to him in person. And my friends texted and told him I wanted to talk to him or something. So he asked for my number and started texting me. We usually text only at night and if I text during the day I get brief responses most of the time, followed by short convos. I can't tell if he's a little bindrunk sometimes But at night if he is drunk he is pretty flirty and the convo is back an forth.

I have been trying not to talk to him that much because I don't want to seem clingy, but I still want hi to think I'm intrested. I did say that we should chill sometime and he said yeah I def would. (Not sure if he was drunk here)

He later asked for my snapchat and would snapchat me or text me once a day at least.
I texted him first about 2 days ago. An we had a short conversation and then I said I would talk to him soon and he said ok.

I don't want to bother him a lot but I still want to be in contact and talk and get to know him, since this is the first time I have talked to him in my life.

I want to suggest that when he gets back from vacation we hang out or something. Would it be weird of I said "When do you get back?" Or would it also be weird if I suggest a time and place for u to chill?
I haven't talked in person with him so I'm very very nervous.

Thanks a bunch

Hello Kaitlynn!

If you're only looking for a text/snapchat buddy, you're well on your way to having that - and only that. If you want anything more than that you're just about to completely lose out.

Most guys HATE these ridiculous, long, drawn-out text sessions! Sure, YOU love them, but trust me, we don't. They are frustrating. We put up with them because so many of you girls seem to be only about them. Even if he initiates, trust me, he won't for very much longer.

I'm glad you want to get together when he gets back from vacation. No, it wouldn't be weird at all to ask him when he gets back. What's "weird" is all this "chillin'" and "hangin' out" crap!

Really Kaitlynn? Is that all you want? Just to hang out on occasion? Is that all you think you deserve?

Look: liking someone and being interested in them isn't some crime. It's actually pretty cool. Acting too cool is anything but! If all you want is a buddy, these are the exact messages you send when you say things like this. Guys don't get the message! It's way, WAY too subtle.

Do this: text him (ugh! calling him is better) and say, "When do you get back from vacation? Let's get together and you can tell me all about it."

How tough is that? It's not weird at all.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”  

General Dating Questions

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Doctor of Philosophy

©2016 All rights reserved.