You are here:

General Dating Questions/My boyfriends female roommate


About 2 months ago I met a great guy and we really hit it off... I couldn't be happier in our relationship so far... Except for one thing: his female roommate. I've never been the jealous type and have always believed guys and girls can be friends, and in fact most of my friends are of the opposite sex. So when I first met his roommate, I had no problems with it. In fact, she was very nice and welcoming and we got along quite well. But the more time I spend with him and over their house, the more I come to realize that there seems to be a lack of boundaries between them and it is really starting to bother me a little. They go out drinking together. They go out and tan on the beach together. She has made trips to his home town with him. We only ever text on the phone, but they will call and talk to each other and even have pet names for each other. They will enter each other's rooms unannounced. They are always texting and snap chatting. She has a boyfriend but doesn't seem him often. And when we go out, she is always pestering about where he is going and when he will be back. I feel like a jealous jerk because I never have a problem with peoples friends... And I know she was there before me, but doesn't this seems a little much? Am I being unrealistic and just inexperience with this type of situation or am I justified in feeling a little uncomfortable over this roommate relationship? How do I approach this topic when he refers to her as his best friend?

if it's not over the line it's very close to it; this is a tough one, because if you say something, he'll only get defensive and attempt to make your concerns appear foolish; plus, the girl could be more into him than either of them would ever admit; the key here is that you say you couldn't be happier; that being said, i doubt this is a dealbreaker for you; so, i'd just keep an eye on the situation but try not to dwell on it; if he blatantly  goes over the line, in your mind, then tell him; also, don't be shy about hangin out with your guy friends, as this needs to go both ways...unfortunately, you happen to like a fairly inconsiderate, insensitive guy, who should realize that his carrying on, in the name of "friendship" is irritable at best..

General Dating Questions

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

see above..

©2017 All rights reserved.