General Dating Questions/My Feelings Changed

Advertisement


Question
Hello Azure,

I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 months now, in a relationship for 2. My last relationship ended with my heart broken. My ex was cheating on me with a few people. I had trust issues following that.

I moved, met some new people,ended up making the wrong friends. There was a lot of cheating going on. The main offender tried to be my friend. She had no cares in the world about cheating with multiple men and women behind their partners backs. She drank heavily, and was overall trashy. Let's call her Tracy. Tracy was the reason I became antisocial for a while. I did not want to associate myself with someone like that. She was not a good person with integrity.

Eventually I met this great girl who seemed to have her head on right. She's smart, funny, and everything I could ever want. I already knew she was a bisexual, but Friday she told me that she had been in a friends with benefits relationship with Tracy. My stomach dropped. I felt sick. I still feel sick. She developed feelings for Tracy. Tracy used her and only recently with our relationship getting closer, Tracy has been putting herself back into my girlfriends life.

I don't trust Tracy. She's scum. I also don't feel the same about my f girlfriend right now. I don't even want to hold hands. I'm so disgusted she would sleep with Tracy. I thought I had met someone better than that. I feel lost and unsure of what to do right now.

Answer
you can talk to your girlfriend about your feelings, but she has a right to be friends with who she chooses, plus you already knew as to the bi thing; if you find her association with tracy a dealbreaker, tell her, but the unfair thing to do would be to stick around and be resentful or put her on some guilt trip; so, talk to her calmly as to your feelings, without JUDGING her, if she refuses to distance herself from her, than either accept it or move on..

General Dating Questions

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Azure

Expertise

expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon request...life experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t enough...it`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and enlightenment...so tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks

Experience

Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and loving...ps..azure announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to wishuponastar-ct.com

Education/Credentials
see above..

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.