General Dating Questions/Trust in relationships

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Question
Three years ago I found out that the man I was with for 8 years was cheating on me. He denied it right until the end, but I couldn't believe that things fell apart so rapidly on their own, and I snooped. I found the answer I anticipated on his cell phone. He was sleeping with a co-worker.

I had a lot of issues I thought I worked through. I can't go through life thinking that everyone would do that. I moved on, or so I thought.

A few months back I started dating someone new. We just dated for a long time. I had no interest in dating anyone else after 2 months of dating, and it made me a little sad that he would go home after we had a great weekend together and still be on dating websites. I accepted it. We weren't in a relationship. It still didn't make me feel great.

Here we are further in and we are in a relationship. Dating profiles are gone and everywhere that ever said "single" have disappeared. We are comfortable with each other and starting to use our phones now more when we are together. I get this panicked feeling in my stomach when he's texting. It's not right, and I have no right to know who he is talking to 24-7. My ex would text his co-worker while we were right beside each other and I know that has made me a paranoid wreck with my new boyfriend. I need to stop. I trust my new boyfriend a lot and have no reason to bring my insecurities from my ex into this new relationship. I have no clue how to stop feeling like this.

He stayed over Friday night, and as I stared as his unlocked cell phone just sitting on my table. So easy to just look at. I walked away. He has admitted that a few close female friends have admitted they like him, but he wants me. I need to get over this fear. If it happens again, it happens. I feel like if I keep this up, it's going to be detrimental to our relationship and a reason to be broken up with.

How do I get over this?

Answer
Cleopatra Isis E. Integrated Master Life Coach www.ClearlyLively.com
Cleopatra Isis E. Inte  
Sorry for the delay Jenn, was on vacation-hope all is well with you. As far as getting over being cheated on it takes time to rebuild your trust in others. You did not get this way overnight so it will take time to heal. First, I would talk with your boyfriend about your feelings and let him know what you are going through. That way the two of you can work on this together. Secondly, It seems like your triggers are the phone, and seeing your boyfriend interact with his cell makes you feel like he is up to something. My advice to you Jenn is getting yourself to a calm state about the phone when its out. By calm state I mean to tell yourself that your boyfriend is not your ex, and he is just normally going into his phone.  Doing these steps little- by- little, will help take the edge off of you. I also suggest carrying this exercise to any other triggers you have. Hope this helps you Jenn, if it continues I do recommend speaking with a coach to guide you through this.


- Cleopatra Isis E.
Integrated Master Life Coach
http://clearlylively.com

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Cleopatra Jade

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I can answer any question! As a Integrated Master Life coach I help clients overcome personal challenges with my expert advice (Dating, family, self-management, Personal development, stuck emotions, stress, relationships of all kinds, romantic, family or friendships.

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Cleopatra Jade is the name traveling and enjoying life to the fullest is my game. -From NY, now living in the fabulous Las Vegas! -Photo blogging, pictures of life and scenery are my thing, so I suppose I don't need to get a hobby! -Intuitive Counselor since 2005- Certified Master Life Coach in 2013, specializing in relationship advice. -Uber & UberEats Brand Influencer/Ambassador, getting the word out about how much of an amazing company Uber is for their outstanding ride services and UberEats food delivery. I'm a candid chick with a zany/ sarcastic sense of humor, who enjoys making people laugh and having a great time- because it's what's needed in this crazy world. In other words, I am all about humor and honesty. I appreciate genuine and people who pull no punches because it lets everyone know where they stand in your life and vice versa. It's how I approach life, business, and the way I work with my clients. I believe that you can be a professional but still be yourself and let your hair down; there's no need to be a stiff shirt, just to give the immpression of being a business person- be authentic. My quote since college: "Why is there a pill for everything else and not the "self's" you know self-awareness, self-righteous, the self-absorb and self-diluted?! Think about it; this would cure most pain in the asses." -Cleopatra

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Trained and Certified in the following : A.A.S Psychology -Master Life Coaching -Life Coaching -Relationship workshop Facilitator -Happiness Coaching -Life purpose Coaching -Life Goal Success Coaching -Nero-linguistic programing, -Intuitive counseling -Reiki healing.." -Cleopatra

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