General Dating Questions/Ex roommate situation


Ok so here's the situation, I'm 24 years old currently in school and I live with 2 other females. One of the females that moved out about a month ago is the one I'm going to tell you about. I met her 2 years ago I met her through a friend and it was cool at first. We would talk hang out and such but it wasn't nothing more than that, just friends. As time went on the more we talked I started to get a crush on her but I put it out my mind because I was dating someone else as well as her. Then came 2013, Me, my crush, and another female friend got an apartment together. The whole dating and getting to know her went out the window. I say that because We were both living together and I wanted to respect her space and also didn't want to make things awkward with my other roommate. Fast forward to June 2014, our lease was about to end in July and we were talking about moving out and getting our own space. One day she got off work and I was watching tv and she comes and talks to me. Then she tells me she's been having an urge to have sex with me. Then she tells me she always thought I was cute and wanted to talk to me but we never did because we were both engaged in other relationship and were living together. She told me how she felt and I told her how I felt, saying I had a crush, wanting to talk to her, etc. Then later on we had sex. Ever since that day I kind of caught feelings. We've been hanging out a lot more, having sit down conversations for hours and going out. I thought it would be a start but she said she wanted to wait until she moved out to start talking and see where it goes. Towards the end of our lease things became a little awkward, not talking, she would be to herself sometimes but I didn't pay no attention. Then the day she moved out. I'm helping her move her stuff to her friend's house and when we was finished I tried to give her a kiss and I got rejected. Felt a little embarrassed because it never happened to me before. I mean she moved out why not try? Then later on that night she woke me up and apologize for what she did when I tried to kiss her. Then she went on to tell me that she was just trying to breathe because she's been dating someone for about a year and is still trying to get over it. Also she stated that she meant by us talking she wanted to move out fully for us to start talking (whatever that meant). Now its September and I haven't spoke to her yet. We're both busy with us being in school and working a lot but I trying to find ways to start talking to her. I feel confused almost. My question is what should I do in this situation and how should I handle it?

i think we're both one is too busy to talk to someone unless they have reason not to want to talk to them; it appears what you're really interested in is goin out with her, so if you have her phone number or email, ask her out; if no reply, look elsewhere....don't expect much here, as her silence probably means she has zero interest...

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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