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General Dating Questions/How to get a relationship to feel "connected" again?

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Hello,

I will try to not write a novel. I know that is frowned upon here, but I know details help.
I am 22, and I have my boyfriend who is 28.
I am a Virgo and he is a Scorpio. We have been dating for a year and a half and we live/work together.
We were perfectly in sync at first. However, six months into our relationship my boyfriend was in an accident that broke every bone in his leg skateboarding.
We had to live at his parents house so they could help take care of him and I was stressed 24/7 paying bills and doing things all by myself for him.
Eventually when he got better we got stuck in a routine where we both sat on separate couches on our smart phones after work every night not speaking. Sex also stopped completely eventually.

The main issues started one night, I asked to look something up on his phone and found a porn video pulled up. He acted embarrassed and brushed it off. I was hurt because upon further checking he was watching porn every morning when I left for work and not having sex with me for weeks. (Dont hate porn, just hurt because I was second best)

I was always told to communicate my feelings. So I did.
He stated we stopped having sex because I made a comment that it's hard for me to climax sometimes. So I tried to understand and be more open. I tried asking about his fantasies. I also tried doing riskee bedroom ideas for him that hes into. I also tried making him happy outside the bedroom.
He is big into video games. So I asked him if he got to play more video games would it make him happier. He said yes and I tried that. I let him play for hours and go do my own thing. However, Im still sad and feel disconnected. I mean, we both took vacation together and he specifically stated he took his vacation "to sit in my chair and play my games". I spent the vacation staying out of his hair so he could play and trying to entertain myself all day.

Now, our last sex attempt he couldn't get it up. I know it can be anything causing it but why out of the blue after a year 1/2? Also out of the bedroom our relationship feels bland and dead. Like we are 70 years old already.

Every time I try to communicate it seems to draw us farther apart.
What can I do in this situation to make the connection stronger? Or should I just leave and stop wasting the best years of my life?
I am focusing on the negatives but he really is good to me. Id do anything to fix this. Im even taking mint and other things to help kill my sex drive so I am not focusing on that aspect as much and dont have to bug him for sex.

I appreciate your input and will rate for your time taken to respond.

Sincerely, Isabella.

Answer
Hi, Isabella.

It sounds like you have gone above and beyond in trying to resolve your issues the best way possible. I suspect that the guy is looking for an excuse of why he is not interested in you sexually as much as before. Porn might be one reason, but you isolated comment can't have such an effect. It's not like you said you can't orgasm at all, right? It sounds like you have tried it all, and unless he has ideas on what you (and he) can to fix your issues, moving on is a viable option. After all, if you are the only one trying to fix the issues, it's not a good sign anyway ...

Thanks,

PH

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