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General Dating Questions/Is my ex interested or just playing games?


I was in a serious relationship with this guy for 8 months. It was somewhat of a whirlwind but I was very happy with him and I thought he was happy too. But all too soon, he broke it off with me saying things were going too fast and he felt pressured. So I moved on and 4 months later, found myself in another relationship. The new guy tagged me in a relationship on FB and my ex (who I'm not even FB friends with)messaged me the next morning saying he was happy I found someone. I messaged him back briefly and told him I didn't think it was going to work out with this new guy because he's immature. My ex then made it a point to meet up with me at work (we work together)and our conversation turned into him kissing my head and calling me baby and wanting to "talk". I even told him that I never stopped loving him and he said "me neither".
Fast forward a few weeks...we plan a night out and he called me the night before to pretty much say that he loves having me around and in his life but wanted to make sure I'm not expecting a commitment from him right now.He said that because he's so busy, he likes being commitment free and being able to do what he wants. I told him that I'm not and that I want to take it slow but that if he doesn't see things going anywhere with us at all, to tell me now and let me go. He said he understood. So last night he takes me out to a really expensive dinner which he took the initiative to pick the place, make reservations, pay for everything and he even held doors for me, got up and pushed my chair in for me when I came back from the bathroom and sat next to me. We had a great time talking and I could tell we were both nervous.
We went back to his place and he started kissing me. One thing led to another and I found myself naked in his bed. We did not have sex though. We pretty much just kissed and made out and he didn't pressure me for sex at all. I told him that I still love him and I wanted to make sure he wasn't keeping me around for selfish reasons and he asked what I meant. I told him I meant keeping me around because he's lonely, he doesn't want anyone else to have me or he's just afraid to let me go. He said none of those were the case and that this situation was in no way advantageous for him as far as taking advantage of me. He told me that he doesn't know if we have a future or not but he knows that when I'm with him, he likes having me there. So to sum up the night, I decided it was time to leave so I put my clothes back on and when we walked to the door, I hugged him and told him I didn't want him to let me leave. I didn't push the subject of staying though and he walked me out to my car.
Without getting emotional, I told him that it was hard to leave him and he hugged me and said "we'll get this figured out". I'm so lost now because this is much harder than I expected. My question is, does it sound like he's just using me or is he genuinely interested in maybe getting back together? Also, what should I do now?

Hello, Kristina.

It sounds like you were doing everything right in trying to figure out whether his return is a moment of loneliness, weakness and jealousy or he really wants you back. Chances are that the former is the case, but there is only on way to find out - to see how things develop from now forward. Will he be talking to your regularly or will he be contacting you only occasionally when he is lonely or wants to have sex? Time will show what his intentions are.



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