General Dating Questions/I am confused.....


I am studying in Spain for 6 months & have been here for 2 months, and have already formed a group of friends who I see on a regular basis. There's a girl within the group who's also my classmate & I see everyday.

Here is what happened: for the past few weeks, several people have been stating there is 'something there' between this girl and I (My classmate)/(they think something could happen), but we would both deny nothing 'was there' & she said she wasn't attracted to me. We get along fine, but sometimes there was always a weird energy vibe between us - I can't explain it but our friends & even our teacher picked up on it & predicted something could happen.

Well, last Saturday before we went out as a group we have a pre-drinking event at her flat & I arrived 2 hours late because I met a lovely Spanish girl earlier. THIS is where I was CONFUSED; upon arriving 2 hours late at her place, our friends asked me what happened & I said I had sex with this Spanish girl. I immediately noticed the "classmate girl" got annoyed, bitter, jealous when she learnt I was with a girl. She was quite tipsy so her true feelings came out. She said she couldn't stand the fact I looked smug or proud of myself. It made me uncomfortable so I dint say much else. She hasn't been with a guy in 6 months since her ex bf.

During the night, we were all dancing and somehow we both ended losing the others from our group. she was still quite drunk so I thought it would be better to look after her. we sat down on the bench and she began asking personal questions about this girl I was with earlier. Then she began sitting on my lap sexually and before you know, we kissed and went back to her apartment & we had ***. She said we shouldn't because we are friends and she hasn't been with a guy in a long time. But she didn't want to stop... The next morning as I leaving she said we should act normal like nothing happen, even though she didn't regret it.

We had classes today and everything appeared like nothing ever happened and she was acting cool over it. I am slightly confused over it and don't know how to access the situation. I will be fine and be cool too but deep down - I'm still confused on what happened and what to do now. I will never mention it again, ask her was it a one off or was I used for her physically needs?

Please help and give me your interpretation.... Thanks

her particular motive at that alcohol-influenced event, is probably no deeper than satisfying a sexual need at the moment, with someone of at least a decent level of attraction for; in any case, it really doesn't matter all that much at this point; the bigger question is if you have a romantic interest in her; if so, ask her out on a real date, if not, then all this matters even less...

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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