General Dating Questions/I am confused..


I am studying in Spain for 6 months & have been here for 2 months, and have already formed a group of friends who I see on a regular basis. There's a girl within the group who's also my classmate & I see everyday.

Here is what happened: for the past few weeks, several people have been stating there is 'something there' between this girl and I (My classmate)/(they think something could happen), but we would both deny nothing 'was there' & she said she wasn't attracted to me. We get along fine, but sometimes there was always a weird energy vibe between us - I can't explain it but our friends & even our teacher picked up on it & predicted something could happen.

Well, last Saturday before we went out as a group we have a pre-drinking event at her flat & I arrived 2 hours late because I met a lovely Spanish girl earlier. THIS is where I was CONFUSED; upon arriving 2 hours late at her place, our friends asked me what happened & I said I had sex with this Spanish girl. I immediately noticed the "classmate girl" got annoyed, bitter, jealous when she learnt I was with a girl. She was quite tipsy so her true feelings came out. She said she couldn't stand the fact I looked smug or proud of myself. It made me uncomfortable so I dint say much else. She hasn't been with a guy in 6 months since her ex bf.

During the night, we were all dancing and somehow we both ended losing the others from our group. she was still quite drunk so I thought it would be better to look after her. we sat down on the bench and she began asking personal questions about this girl I was with earlier. Then she began sitting on my lap sexually and before you know, we kissed and went back to her apartment & we had ***. She said we shouldn't because we are friends and she hasn't been with a guy in a long time. But she didn't want to stop... The next morning as I leaving she said we should act normal like nothing happen, even though she didn't regret it.

We had classes today and everything appeared like nothing ever happened and she was acting cool over it. I am slightly confused over it and don't know how to access the situation. I will be fine and be cool too but deep down - I'm still confused on what happened and what to do now. I will never mention it again, ask her was it a one off or was I used for her physically needs?

Please help and give me your interpretation.... Thanks


It seems like this girl was really angry at the fact that you had slept with someone else. When she learned that you two had been together she felt threatened as if she could potentially lose sight of a relationship, of some sort. Whether it be casual or not. Evidently she seems to like you and maybe you do too? You two were together and as any classic attempt at trying to be cool and not clingy, she has been playing it cool and as if nothing happened so that her feelings are safe and do not get hurt, hypothetically. My suggestions are to be real with yourself and what you want from this relationship. It doesn't seem like you were the one used from this encounter, seeing as she hasn't been with another male since her ex boyfriend. Had it been for needs this would have happened only weeks after she and him broke up. Ask yourself, what do you want? What does she want? Do I want to be part of her happiness and see if a relationship could flourish?

Almost everyone is seeking for companionship and wants that closeness with someone, unfortunately commitment is such a big deal these days that people flee from the idea of being tied down since it scares them so much to lose opportunity else where. Be real and confrontational if you're that confused.

Good luck,


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I can answer almost everything. I am religious person who strongly believes in G-d. If spiritual guidance is also something that you are seeking for, then I am careful and competent in that region. I am also very aware that it's hard to ask for help, with that being said, I am sensitive to others feelings and have gone through hardships in relationships, which demonstrates a quality of empathy and consciousness when it comes to everyday dating situations. I can answer break-up confusions/confusions in dating in general. I can NOT read minds and can answer to the best of my ability in regards to the detail you provide me. With that in consideration, please do not send me pages of information. Pick the most important and effective way to explain the problem and we can make this our problem and our solution together.


I have been in confusing relationships. Most of all I was in a 5 year relationship that really helped me in developing my intellect and sensitivities, which also played a huge role in discovering myself and those around me.

Chai Life Line; deals with special needs children

Bachelor of Arts in English Literature Certified teacher in Canada; recognized internationally

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