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General Dating Questions/Telling someone you aren't interested.


Hello Azure,
Thank you for your time. I am a single 40 year old Jewish woman. I am a physician in a large university setting. I recently went out alone for dinner. The restraunt was full, so I took a seat at the bar. After my meal, I stayed for a glass of wine. I met what I thought to be a nice man, we struck up a conversation over a drink, had a second drink, watched some sports at the bar, I payed my tab and was about to leave when he asked if we could exchamge numbers. I said ok, he walked me to the door and we parted ways. The next day, he TEXTED  me to say he enjoyed meeting me. I found a text odd, is this the standard thesedays? He then told me he had plans for the eveing. Ok? Everyday for three days straight he would text something random, i.e., my roomate is driving me nuts, what are you going to buy me for my birthday, I am really mature for my age, if you think we would make better friends thats ok with me. I finally told him, yes, you seem like a great guy, but I dont feel an attraction and we are best to leave it at that. He replied with an ok and a smiley face.
Whew! Bullet dodged! Or so I thought. He continued to text me for two more days letting me know he was going out. I didnt answer. The final text he sent me read, "YOU ARE A REAL BITCH!". I did not reply and promptly blocked his number from my phone.
My question, "Could I or should I have handled this differently? How do you reject someone gently yet getting your point across?"
Thank you.

you handled it well, the guy was just a jerk; and yes, people have gotten lazy and have become too reliant on texting; the thing you might have done differently was not give out your number, as you probably knew right from the beginning he wasn't your type..

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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