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General Dating Questions/Two Men but only like one


Hi Azure,
I am a 37 year old female having a big dilemma with someone I volunteer with in at work.  I see him several times a week.  It is obvious he likes me.  During the work day, he wants us to take breaks together and will offer to buy me soda and candy--just about anything I want.  He gets a little flirty and stands very close to me--he will use any excuse to get close to me, grab my arm, etc.  He gets excited when someone thinks we are together.  I am not interested in him at all.  We were both invited to a co-worker's wedding reception next week.  First of all, he may ask if I want to drive there together.  Second, I know he will sit with me the entire time because he doesn't know the other guests.  

There is also another man that I am interested in. He will be at the reception also.  We have went out a few times and we seem to like each other's company.  He also works in my company but he works in another building.  

My fear is that I will go to this reception and my "volunteer buddy" will be stuck like glue to me.  I am afraid that my crush will see this and assume I am with him.  My question is, how can I look available at this wedding reception?  Even if I don't sit with my crush, I do not want my volunteer friend acting like we are a couple.  I feel like it will either get ugly between these guys or I will just feel uncomfortable the whole time.  Not sure if the ages matter but they are both in their earlier 40's.  Thanks.

i don't see it as a big problem; the guy you dated apparently didn't ask to go with you, so he really has no say in the matter; also, traditionally at receptions people move around alot, sit at different tables, dance with different people....if this guy you dated is truly interested, he won't let this scenario stop him from asking you out; so, stop worryin, just go and enjoy the moment..

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expertise: over 7000 questions answered...B.A. Psychology Bates College;graduate study, Fordham Univ. School Social Work; technical editor, "dating for dummies", 2d edition, by dr joy browne; thoughtful consideration of your question, then insightful advice about love,romance and related issues given in an objective, non-judgmental manner...over 20 years of personal experience in both short and long term relationships...longer term consultations are available upon experience: personal involvement in many relationships where issues of love, sex, intimacy, trust, etc., had to be dealt with and resolved...just having "experiences", however, isn`t`s the thoughtful reflection upon and analysis of what happened and why, that leads to learning and tell me what`s on your mind and i`ll try to help, or tell you if i can`t...thanks


Over 20 years personal experience in dating, including both short and long-term relationships.Thoughtful reflection and analysis upon same, as well as providing imput relating to issues of love and romance to friends and acquaintances.

BA, Psychology, Bates College, Lewiston, Me. Graduate study at Fordham University School of Social Work.

Life experience can really be the only teacher in this area; however going through the experience is not enough. What is necessary is a real awareness, sensitivity to, and reflection upon what has happened, what has been lost, what has been gained. Getting beyond one's own insecurities and subjectivities, and seeing the experience in the context of the bigger picture, are essential stepping stones to learning and announces CT matchmaking service..for more, go to

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