General Dating Questions/question


Dear Dennis.

My boyfriend and I. Whenever we have sex, after we do it, he collapses exhausted and lays on me. I try to kiss him and he snaps "leave me be." Then he runs into the bathroom and takes a shower by himself without inviting me.

This happens every time we have sex.

How do I talk to him about this? he seems uncooperative.


Hello Dana!

First, you have to decide what sort of relationship you want. Do you want one where you only can talk about pleasant, non-confronting things? Do you want a relationship where you can only talk about things that won't upset one or both of you? Do you want a relationship where you everything exists only on the surface and deep emotions are ignored?

If so, then do nothing. You have pretty much that right now.

On the other hand, if you want a relationship where you can talk about anything and everything then you need to act - and this is the perfect catalyst to start the discussion.

It doesn't matter if he's "uncooperative". You have rights here too, like the right to have your needs and feelings heard and considered. Maybe he has some specific issues around sex. Wouldn't you like to know that and if so, help deal with them?

It's perfectly acceptable to say, "I'm not happy with an aspect of our sex life and this is a chance to make things better". But, approach it with a positive, not a negative. Seek to fix, grow and build. Also, don't do it right after sex! You'll get nowhere. Instead, find a time when you both are relaxed and comfortable and open the discussion.


Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

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Dr. Dennis W. Neder


I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: You can email me directly at:


I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Doctor of Philosophy

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