You are here:

General Dating Questions/Racists could destroy our relationship?

Advertisement


Question
Hey, how're you doing?
I am an Iranian guy in Central Indiana; I am a graduate student; I have started dating an American girl; as she is really lovely and intelectual, I am interested in long-term relationship with her and even possibly marriage. Turning to my question:
Unfortunately, there are some racists out there who make some appalling comments about Iranian guys. I am worried as she dose not know any thing about Iranians, she might talk to some of those people or see some of those  websites with racist comments about Iranians and that might destroy our potential relationship. What should I do?

Thanks,

Answer
Hello Sia!

Why are you worrying about a few idiots? If she likes you, they're not going to change her mind.

I don't care who you are or where you live (now). Everyone faces some sort of racism in their lives. I'm as white-bread as you get (see my photo) and even *I'VE* been the victim of racism! (No, I'm not kidding! It goes to show just how ridiculous and stupid it is!)

In fact, it's far more likely that she'll see you as "exotic" and rare by coming from another culture. Here in California where I live, we have a large, healthy, thriving Persian community full of music and foods and culture. We definitely get the best of your homeland but not every community does. While it's not your job to be an ambassador for your ethnicity, you certainly can bring that experience to your local friends and (especially?) this girl.

Focus on that, not a few idiots who come off as such. Remember, you came from a culture that has just as much bigotry as we do here (frankly, more). They'll never be able to overshadow your cultural pride unless you give them the tools to do it.

Best regards...

Dr. Dennis W. Neder
CEO/Executive Producer
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
BAM! Productions
Remington Publications
323.638.4145
http://beingaman.com
Producers: "BAM! TV" and “Love and Sex”
Publishers: "Being a Man in a Woman's World I, II & III”

General Dating Questions

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Dr. Dennis W. Neder

Expertise

I'm able to answer any sort of question related to the approach, meeting people, dating, sex, relationships, break-ups, non-legal marriage and divorce questions, and anything in between. I've helped over 30,000 people with their individual issues. IMPORTANT: Please, PLEASE don't ask me, "what was he thinking..." or "why did he say..." types of questions! I DO NOT READ MINDS! There are 1,001 reasons why someone does what they do, says what they say or thinks what they think. If you *REALLY* want to know what they were thinking, saying or why they were acting that way - go ask them! Be sure to check out my FAQ's on my website at: http://beingaman.com. You can email me directly at: dwneder@beingaman.com.

Experience

I am the author of the books "Being a Man in a Woman`s World I & II" and "1001 Places and Techniques to Meet Great Women" and 11 others. I`ve spent the last 20 years studying the art and science of every aspect of relationships, and have answered over 30,000 letters from readers all over the world. My main focus is men`s relationships with women, but I also have many female readers and answer questions for them regularly as well.

Education/Credentials
Doctor of Philosophy

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.